Expat Magazine

Going Commando?

By Expatmum @tonihargis
Apologies to everyone I haven't visited. As usual, it's been busy round here and the knackered back hasn't helped AT ALL. I've had a few back injuries in my time; this one caused by a wet toilet seat, no less, and this one which meant wearing strange tape on my back.
Last Monday I did a stupid flat-back bend, (I know, I know), to retrieve something and it went. I knew instantly what I'd done and this time was no better than before, - possibly worse timing as it was the first week off school; trips to educational places had been promised, and that was just to keep my visiting mother entertained! I used an  old crutch for the first day as the transfer of weight from one foot to the other was very painful. But there's only so much trauma the right oxter can take, it would appear.
It was all getting better until Thursday when I felt a huge allergy-induced sneeze coming on and tried to stifle it. My allergy sneezes are legendary (apparently  I yell "I-ya-hoo") and cause me to bend double, which I dearly wanted to avoid. Unfortunately the buggers are impossible to fight off, so the sneeze happened anyway, only it was more like an internal gunshot which riccocheted down my spine sending me right back to square one.
It couldn't have come at a worse time. I have SO much to do in preparation for Tuesday night's transAtlantic flight, and now I can barely move. I have learned from past dental and gynocological experiences that it takes a large amount of painkiller to medicate me, and nothing we have in the house is working. My doctor probably won't prescribe anything over the phone and even if I could get to his office, I just don't have time. (Various children's appointments between now and Tuesday night have put paid to any flexibility in the schedule.)
As I lamented several months ago, because the Ball & Chain doesn't fly as much as he used to, we are no longer at the top of the food chain when it comes to upgrades and special attention. We have requested an upgrade to get me into business class (using miles), but given the way they pack the flights these days, it's very unlikely to come about. After 8 hours of sitting bolt upright in cattle class, they will have to prize me out of the seat. I have requested a wheelchair or a trolley to get me through Terminal 1, - yes, it's that bad. I don't care who sees me in a wheelchair!
And (if you're wondering about the post's title) I can't even bend down to get my knickers on. Seriously considering going commando for a while and will just hope I don't get hit by a bus!

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