Hair of the Dog before St. Patrick's Day? It goes with the territory when you're Man's Best Friend but with one important difference: dogs don't drink and they don't get drunk without irresponsible human connivance. That's their story and they're sticking to it – photographic evidence to the contrary. (drunk dog image via Cute Overload)
Drunk Dog #1: Filmdrunk or Just Drunk?
Looking like some improbable lovechild of Shaggy and Scooby-Do, the pink-eyed panting pooch above appears to be one brewski short of adding several more colors to his admittedly awesome Kelly Green shirt.
Hairy drinkers of all species are wise to wear clothing, by the way. One recalls the old (ok, paraphrased) story of the bear and the squirrel, who after partying hearty well into the evening suddenly realize that what goes down must come up.
The bear is the first to acknowledge the impending tsunami, lets fly, and ends up soaking his paws. Says the bear to the squirrel, “Do you find vomit sticks to your fur?” The squirrel replies “No”, the bear grabs him, and performs a quick cleanup. (drunk dog images via Filmdrunk and Leah Lin)
Drunk Dog #2: Belchin' Sheepdog
A dog with a beer belly? I'd drink to that, but our exceptionally relaxed friend here seems to have beaten me to it. Speaking of “relaxed”, this particular tail-wagger takes the concept of kicking back to a whole new level.
Unlike so many posed drunken dog pics, the owner of this mellow fellow didn't wait before Fido fell asleep before setting up his shot – shots, actually, if one includes the topped-up wobbly-pop on the left.
If we could put thoughts in our furry pal's head, they'd sound something like “I'm all thumbs when it comes to drinking from a glass, probably because as a dog I HAVE no thumbs.” (drunk dog images via Daily Picks and Flicks and HEAL Inc.)
Drunk Dog #3: The Hangover
We can talk all day about raising the bar for public drunkenness this St. Patrick's Day but the marinated mongrel above just wants to know who raised the bar, period.
Seriously, this pickled pooch was hung over before he was hungover, if you know what I mean. His beery breath has driven off the barflies but unfortunately, not the bar fleas.
As for bellying up to the bar... dude, it's just an expression, not an obsession. What's his plan for closing time, we wonder? At least we don't have to worry about him getting behind the wheel in his condition, though if he's the guy on the right's seeing eye dog then somebody's got a BIG problem. (drunk dog images via Big Duck and Laugh It Out)
Drunk Dog #4: Spuds MacKenzie
Remember Spuds MacKenzie, the cooler than cool Bull Terrier spokes-dog who flogged Bud Light for Anheuser-Busch in the late Eighties? Ol' Spuds made pop culture history in early 1987 during Super Bowl XXI, subsequently selling millions of dollars worth of beer and beer-related merchandise over the next few years.
Not many know it but Spuds was more of a walking contradiction than Travis Bickle – and the disturbed Taxi Driver walked on two legs, not four. Y'see, in addition to being a terrier teetotaler, Spuds wasn't exactly the womanizer “he” was made out to be... yep, Spuds (1983-1993) was a female whose real name was Honey Tree Evil Eye.
Don't know about you, but I'd rather drink beer promoted by a dog named Honey Tree Evil Eye than by one named Spuds MacKenzie. (drunk dog images via BarMirrors.com and Casual Dogs)
Drunk Dog #5: Moscow Subway Crash
Ever heard the expression “let sleeping dogs lie”? It goes double for sleeping-it-off dogs, triple for sleeping-it-off Russians, and quadruple for sleeping-it-off Russian dogs. Got that, comrade?
Petula Clark scored smash hits with “Don't Sleep in the Subway” and “Downtown” back in the Sixties but nearly 50 years of airplay hasn't dissuaded drunken Muscovites (or their pets) from doing just that.
You'd think those cold, hard stone floors wouldn't be conducive to a restful sleep but hey – Russian vodka trumps cold, hard stone floors any day of the week. Besides, compared to the snowy sub-zero winter wonderland lurking on the gritty city streets above, crashing in the Moscow subway isn't quite the train wreck it's made out to be. (drunk dog images via English Russia and Rate Your Music)
Drunk Dog #6: The Downside of Drinking
If this is the downside of drinking, what's the upside? Don't ask the flipped furball above, he's obviously got his upside confused with his downside.
Who knew Miller Light could have such an effect? How much MORE will he have to drink in order to return the world (if not his seat-back) to its upright position?
Maybe he just likes it better the way it is. From our bombed beagle's point of view things probably look just fine. Hey, it worked for the Nirvana Baby! (drunk dog images via eBaum's World and Vinyl Surrender)
Drunk Dog #7: The Real Animal House
No, it's not a remake of the notorious 1978 frat-house comedy Animal House but the image above is mighty close – about all that's missing is Bluto chanting “Toga! Toga! Toga!
Or we could be wrong: this IS Animal House with a soundtrack featuring Jona Lewie's 1980 hit single “You'll Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties”. Cue Bluto to walk in, smash Lewie's keyboard, and apologize. (drunk dog images via College Wall of Shame and MA Real Estate Blog)
Drunk Dog #8: Canine Karaoke
So you've had a few belts and you're in the mood to belt one out... with friends, of course! What tune could the buzzed buddies above be mangling?
One can only hope it isn't “Who Let The Dogs Out?”. Could be worse, of course (Jingle Dogs comes to mind) but consider the improbable decade-old hit by Baha Men made it all the way to #2 on AOL Radio's “100 Worst Songs Ever” listing.
It would've surely surged to #1 if it had actually been sung by drunken dogs. (drunk dog images via Kimberly Cucumber and MP3Crank)
Drunk Dog #9: Spin Dog-tors
You're celebrating St. Patrick's Day by drinking with friends and spinning tall tales. That's good! When the tale's been told and the room's doing the spinning, however, that's not so good.
Lucky for you there's nobody around with a cell phone snapping pics of you doing an imitation of a clothes dryer from the inside, and then posting said pics on Facebook... I mean, that hardly ever happens.
Hey, could be worse: you could be the next YouTube star, just like that Double Rainbow Guy. He didn't have a job, of course, but once the pics reach your boss's inbox neither will you. (drunk dog images via Ihasahotdog.com and Hereford Brewery)
Drunk Dog #10: The Hangover Part K9
Sooner or later, every party's got to come to a bitter end and the longer the party, the more bitter the end. “You'll get my beer and cigarettes when you pry them out of my cold, dead paws,” they snarl, unwilling to accept the fact that every good times train eventually reaches the end of the line. Why is that, anyway? Maybe alcohol-induced memory loss makes us want to hold onto our partying experiences in real time as long as possible.
Ah well... now it's time to get serious. Fun, games and anecdotal evidence aside, the ASPCA's Animal Poison Control Center advises that alcoholic beverages are one of a variety of “people foods” that should not be fed to dogs.
To quote, “Dogs are far more sensitive to ethanol than humans are. Even ingesting a small amount of a product containing alcohol can cause significant intoxication,” which can cause “vomiting, loss of coordination, disorientation and stupor. In severe cases, coma, seizures and death may occur.”
Loving our pets means taking responsibility for them and drinking responsibly means not sharing, but if your pet really deserves a toast this St. Patrick's Day then look into the surprising variety of safe lookalike beer, wine & cocktails designed to be pet-safe. (drunk dog images via Destructoid and Food Blog Cape Town)
For St. Patrick's Day Cuteness: See 12 Cute St. Patrick's Day Outfits for Dogs
For Surprising Cuteness: See 10 Bugs Cuter Than Puppies or Kittens