I knew my partner had a son when I met him, he’d never seen him though. When I asked why, he just said that his mother never let him and with him working away he’d never pushed the issue. I found it very hard to understand, I just told myself it wasn’t really my business. He was great with my 2 sons from a previous relationship and when we found out we were expecting a baby of our own 6 years down the line, I thought more about his son and how he should really get involved in his life.
I wanted my/our child to know his/ brother. When I brought the subject up he felt it would be unfair to upset his life now, he would be 8. The last he had heard was that his ex was now married and had more children so he assumed he was happy.
I was about 5 months pregnant when he came home from work, his face ashen saying we needed to talk. We’d just been through a very tough patch in our relationship, separated for a short while but decided to give it another go, so all sorts of things started racing through my mind. By the time the boys had gone to bed I was a nervous wreck. Was he leaving me ?
We sat down and he began. He had a call from social services. His son had been placed in foster care due to being mentally and physically abused by his mother and step father. They wanted to meet with him the next day.
He asked if Id go with him, he looked scared and when I asked what was wrong he explained that he felt that he was too set in his own ways to care and look after him be sole carer. ‘what if I fail him ?’ what if he doesn’t like me?’, ‘I cant do it alone, the only reason I’m good with the boys is because you support me”. I assured him I’d be there all the way and was happy he was going to be part of his life.
I laid awake most of the night thinking of what life this poor little boy had had. From the vague details they had told my partner, he could be in a right mess mentally bless him. Then it was my turned to be scared. I’d promised I would be there to support him. Could I ? Having 2 boys already, a baby on the way and now this little boy with so many problems.
Fostering An Abused Child – My Story
The meeting with social services went really well, they had asked for us to meet Scott the next day to build up a relationship with view to him coming to live with us. It was all going very fast. The next day we went to meet him, he looked so scared, withdrawn and lost.
The thought that his own mother had made him this way made me sick but all the more determined that no matter how hard things would be I had to help this little boy and give him a life that he’d never had, the love he obviously had never felt and by the look of his tiny frame and pale skin a few dinners wouldn’t go amiss either.
The next few weeks flew by, visits with just me and my partner then introducing him to the boys, I was so pleased when they all got on. He started to change, becoming happier, more like a boy he should be. The tears started when he had to leave us to go back to his foster carers. One night when he was leaving he was begging us to stay and let him live here.
His worker just looked at us and said ‘the ball is in your court’. Was there any questions to ask ourselves ? I didn’t think so. Then my partner said he didn’t think it was a good idea, he worked away a fortnight at a time, he couldn’t be his main carer unless he stayed working from home and jobs were scarce. It was a good point. Again it left the onus on me, the questions started again… could I cope ?
2 weeks later he moved in, never have I seen a child so happy. He put his things in his room and came and found me in the kitchen making lunch. ‘Thank you for letting me live with you,I missed you when they took me back there. Can you be my……… mom ?’ came the words from Scott. My heart melted and the tears rolled down my face. ‘Of course I can’ was my reply.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mom who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
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