As I sit here contemplating what to write for today's Five Minute Friday, I realize that I'm not brave enough to write what I really want to.I really want to write about how bummed I am that I'm 31 and not married.
I really want to write about how disappointed I am that things haven't turned out how I thought... how they aren't even close.
I really want to write about the fact that my biological clock is doing some SERIOUS ticking and it's really irritating the crap out of me.
I really want to scream from the rooftops that having these thoughts and feelings does NOT make me desperate or pathetic.
I know that God put these desires in my heart for a reason and the fact is I'm just sick of being patient. But these desires are there and I embrace them. I hold fast to God's faithfulness and trust that someday He will give me the desires of my heart.
But to expound on these disappointments is too scary for me. Because then I'd have to admit how lonely I am and how I really don't feel whole without a man. And I'm not that girl.
I'm the strong one. The one who doesn't care what others think. The one that marches to the beat of her own drum & has fun doing it. The one that builds up my single friends with encouragement, but doesn't believe the same truths for myself.
Despite what others think, I'm not the brave one. I'm not.
