Diaries Magazine

FFS!? Friday : Taking the Piss. Literally.

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
So my first FFS!? is the fact that I had this post all written up and scheduled for last Friday, only I hit "Save" and not "Publish", meaning I was FFS-less last week.  FFS!?
Nobody noticed that I went FFS-less last week.  FFS!?
Anyway, down to business.  I'm whining some more about swimming lessons this week.

FFS!? Friday  :  Taking the piss.  Literally.

Image Credit
One of my favorite pics of all time. So pumped to find another reason to use it.  No FFS!?


Following my previous post about swimming lessons, a School Dad (whose daughter is finishing up as The Feral Threesome start their lessons) helpfully pointed out that, in addition to pissing in the showers, all the kids piss in the pool too.  FFS!?
When I thought about it, I realised that I've never ever seen a kid get out mid-lesson or mid-swim and rush to the toilets in all of my poolside years.....eww and FFS!? Directly following this shocking and disgusting realisation, I observed the Twin Tornado gulping down pool water for the entire duration of their lessons (same pool, different groups).  Again, eww and  FFS!?
I spent the entire lesson impersonating a helicopter as I paced the length of the pool between their 2 groups, waving my arms around trying to get their attention and make them stop drinking the piss/water.  FFS!?
They all complained about hurty eyes after their lessons that day.
Clearly it's got nothing to do with the mega doses of chlorine in the water to combat the piss, it is most certainly a result of the piss stinging their eyes.  FFS!?
Thankfully, they only attended for a week, so I'm hoping for a speedy detox from their piss habits.  FFS!?
Not one of them passed their lessons.  FFS!?
Of course they were all so close to passing that another week would've done it.  FFS!?
But what kind of parent would I be if I let my kids imbibe the piss of others for another week?  FFS!?
I had been planning on doing laps at the same pool on the days the Twin Tornado are at school with Miss7.  It was to be my great return to the world of exercise following my tummy tuck.
Now I will have to find some other form of half arsed exercise.  FFS!?
At least I won't have to maintain my bits and pieces with such vigour now that I won't be donning a bathing suit a few times a week.  No FFS!?

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