Sports Magazine

Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters

By Jhop
Sometimes I fantasize about what my life would be like if I became a journalist instead of an attorney. But then I read headlines like the ones below, and I am confident that I made the right decision. From the vast treasure chest that is the world wide interwebs, in no particular order: 
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
Does Cameron Diaz’s vagina hate men that much? Or is this just further proof that ARod will never be the same without steroids?
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
I think it is safe to assume that most reporters who cover the Jets self-medicate through the use of alcohol.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
  I mean, if this was a tournament, I bet a lot of women would be in the running for the title. Most of my sorority sisters would have earned a one-seed, no doubt.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
In other news, an AMBER alert just went out related to one Mr. Dick Trickle. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
No means no, regardless of sexual preference. Even when you are being dominated by Stevie Wonder in a purple leotard.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
Trying to the get the crowd into it, the poor woman seen above needed an audience to reach orgasm.  
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
It would be even easier to make fun of him, if his last name was just "Ass."  
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
Seriously, is this the best we can do?  Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
There are only so many colon jokes that we can make. And it does not give me warm fuzzies that we now have the walking-talking-real-life Colon joke on the Yankees.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
It is not a matter if he is “ready;” Joakim Noah is still a virgin due to the unfortunate hair nest that he sports on his head.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
  It was church league soccer, so like? No surprise here. 
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters 
Nike also says that at least 84 other women did that last year, too.
 
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters 
The photo above was from 1998 and does not include the captain of this team; a scary looking fat woman in a beret, ominously holding a cigar.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
I just crossed my legs tighter. Go (too) big and go home. Quite literally.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
  We support homosexual rights here at CDTF. And we especially love fabulous gay Indians, because they always have the coolest head dresses.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
Sometimes a headline perfectly captures a photograph, you know?
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
Apparently, steroids are also a problem in the NHL.
 
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
Title IX at its finest. It gives a whole new meaning to magna cum laude. 
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
Seriously, no one likes bush; it is not just a political thing. However, on a dare during high school, I did steal this awesome 80s porn from my friend’s parents – it was called “Between the Cheeks XXX” – and I would tell you what kind of images I saw, but I burned my eyes out with a lit cigarette. All I will tell you is that there were mohawks and sparkles involved.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
Well, if that pony-tailed man does not look like a molester of sorts, I am not sure who does. And I am sad for Schmeichel, both for his horrible last name and for being filled with Seaman.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
 
It always seemed obvious to me that the Saints like to get down and dirty. 
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
 
Um, I have nothing further to add. 
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
 
Beavers and dam go well together. Or, damn bitch, why you always be creeping on my condom?
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
 
It is about damn time. Those bitches work hard for the money. So hard for it, honey.
Epic Fail: 25 Sports Headline Disasters
Whore recovers from syphilis, masturbates for $20.

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