Yesterday we talked about the ridiculous notion that fat people shouldn’t be role models, appreciated for their talent, or seen as attractive. Today we’re going to talk about those who say that maybe it’s ok for fat people to be appreciated for their talent, but only if they do certain things to make people who are uncomfortable with fat people more comfortable.
Singer/Songwriter Elly Kellner contacted More of Me to Love to get the word out about a song and video that she had written in response to dealing with this kind of asshole. They told me about it, and now I’m telling you because I’m completely inspired by her story, her song, and her video. Let me be perfectly clear that this sort of thing SHOULD NOT HAPPEN, she should not have to deal with it. But it did and she did and she’s asked that her story be told and I want to do help with that, so here is her story in her own words:
My name is Elly Kellner, singer-songwriter and creative human being. After a recent concert I received feedback from a man and woman about my choice of clothing. I usually get feedback about my music, my lyrics and how people are touched by my songs but this time it was all about my looks. First I listened to what they wanted to tell me but in the end I just stood there crying…
Two strangers told me they were very distracted by my dress, was the back of the dress longer than the front!? And what sort of a legging was that!? And those shoes!? They assured me they only bothered to tell me all this because they thought my music was really good. But if only I wore a small heel, spike heels weren’t necessary, but a small heel and a sleeve then I would have been so much bigger in music already. The way I was dressed now distracted them too much from my music. I could take Ella Fitzgerald as an example. She was a big lady too and she wore beautiful garments!
I am and I will remain just a girl. I am overweight, I suffer from chronic pains, I exercise, I eat healthy, I eat unhealthy, I go from black-white to gray and all the colours of the rainbow, I love wearing dresses in my own way, I sometimes wear make-up and sometimes I don’t. I’m totally allowed to be here. And I’m all for positive body image! :)
The negative words that I heard after the performance kept ringing in my head like a negative mantra. Then I wrote a song about it… Then I wanted my friends to join me in dance… Then it was suddenly called ‘Ellybellyrep’… Then I wanted to make a video for it, so that’s what I did… Then I wanted to send it out into the world and this is how I came to your facebookpage. I made English subtitles to the Dutch song ‘Deugdelijk’ (Decent). I approached it with humor but my message is clear: “This is my body, I am thankful that I have one and I am the one that decides what clothes I put on it. Everybody gets to be themselves!”
PS: I am also wearing the outfit that started all of this, in the cow scene. Although I didn’t wear rubber boots on stage ;)
Like this blog? Here’s more cool stuff:
Become a Member For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. Click here for details
Buy the book: Fat: The Owner’s Manual The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details
Book Me! I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!
Dance Classes: Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details
I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com
A movie about my time as a dancer is in active development (casting, finding investors etc.). Follow the progress on Facebook!
If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.
