ED Community

An anonymous writer left a very interesting comment on my blog yesterdayPosing a couple of questionsFirstAbout the ED communityAnd does the idea of such a community help strengthen or weaken the fight against the illness?And alsoWhat role an ED should play in a persons identity?I thought these were really interesting questionsAnd it's something I've thought a lot about over yearsAnd I remember it being addressed in treatment also
First questionDoes the idea of an ED community strengthen or weaken the fight against our illness? I think there is no simple answer for thisAnd of course every case is individual In my opinionOur community can do both As we know Support is essential Both in the midst of the illnessAnd in recovery When I first started writing my blog three years agoI was in a very different placeI wrote about fastingAnd actively trying to lose weightI can remember me and other girls encouraging each other to lose weightAnd that is so dangerous Thankfully In my case That didn't last long And I saw that I was treading on thin iceBut at the same timeI craved to be with others like meIt was so important to me to connect with others in the same situation as meThis community has saved my life over and over againAnd in a lot of ways has helped me recover and move on from my ED Our community is a mixture of people still in active EDAnd those choosing recoveryAnd we seem to co-exist well Although I do admitI've had to pull back from some blogs that are upsetting or triggeringThat is nothing against the personIt's just very difficult to be around very ill people when you yourself are trying to get wellAnd of course when in recoveryYou want to build a good foundationAnd probably have more in common with those in recovery 
I guess this why Pro-ana is so prolificThere Is strength in numbersYou are more likely to do something If someone is doing it with youHence why people have 'ana buddies'In a sick and twisted wayThese girls are each other's cheerleaders It's something that fuels the ED
I remember when I was in treatment It was a psychiatric hospitalWith an eating disorder recovery programmeThe ED girls were on a ward called St. Brigids It was a mixed wardSo there were patients with other illness there tooLike anxiety or depressionThere were up to eight girls on the ED programme at a timeWe spent so much time together All day every dayAnd most of the time we were talking about food, weight and our EDsAlthough this wAy works for someIt most definitely did not for meBring in such close contact with other sufferers made life so hardI was constantly comparing myself to others That and the fact that our sole existence was wrapped up in the ED Made it so hard to make steps towards recovery
One thing that I noticed while in treatmentWas that if one person was doing wellThe rest tended to do well tooBut if one person was strugglingThe rest struggled tooWhy was this?WellWe were all so in tune with each other And if one persons behaviours were very disordered That permeated through the groupBut also if some one was making positive steps It was almost like it gave permission to the other girls to do the sameSo I think being part of an ED community can both help and hinder
As ED sufferers We have to battle triggers every single day Triggers that can send us right back in to the arms of our ED So support is essential And very necessary I know that I couldn't possibly do this on my own No wayNo how We crave to be around others like us So we know that we are not alone This can be both a blessing and a curseI guess it would be like an alcoholic or a dug addictIn their addiction They spent all their time with other addictsWhether they liked them or not They were on the same wave lengthBut when one addict gets cleanThey absolutely have to change one thing And that one thing is everythingIncluding people, places and thingsA recovering addict can not spend all their time with using addicts And expect to stay cleanAs the saying goesIf you hang around a barbers for long enoughYou will end up getting a haircut In the same veinYou are the company you keep
To answer the other question What role should our EDs play in our identityThis is also a great questionAnd againIs something I addressed in treatment In the midst of our illnessOur identity and the illness become so emeshed I know when I was sickMy illness was my identity Everything else that I was was overshadowed by my EDI was no longer a sisterA daughterAn auntieA friend Now I was anorexic And precious little else I distinctly remember saying in treatment that I was so afraid to let go of my EDAs I didn't know what would be left without it I panicked about the fact that giving up my illnessMeant giving up my identityWhen I was sickI assumed the sick roleAnd when you have such a role for such a long time It's very hard to break away from it
For me I felt that my illness brought my family together And I worried that if I got wellThen I wouldn't be as close with my familyBecause that's what happened when I became illMy family came together And got very close So I feared the opposite would happen if I let my ED go
Eating disorders continue to be complex and difficult illnesses to treatThe person in question has to want to get well And will not get well until they decide toNo matter how much somebody wants it for you They can't do it for youSupport is essential I know I couldn't have got well without the support of various professionals, my family And of course you my beautiful blogger friends We alone can do it But we can not do it aloneAs they say in the meetings I know for sureThat being part of this community has been a huge part of my life for the past three yearsAs you know I try to write every dayI spent copious amounts of time on blogger You girls are some of my best friendsI worry about our little communityAs it seems to be ever shrinking all the timeBlogger seems to not be the place to be anymoreInstagram seems to be the cool place to beBut blogger will forever hold a special place in my heartAs its here that I started And I love to follow the stories of you girls 
AnywayLet me know what you think about the questions posed in this postAnd anything else on your mind.....