It was my 27th birthday yesterday, and what a year it's been! I can safely say, the best year so far. Far from the easiest, but definitely the happiest. Whilst I was 26, I built stronger bonds with family (in England and India) and broke bonds with unhealthy beliefs about myself. I have learnt that seeing your child in pain is more painful that childbirth. I have learnt how important it is make a life long commitment to learning and to make lemonade out of those lemons.
My birthday last year involved morning sickness. I later started to watch my stomach grow and grow, then wiggle and squirm. I faced a tough decision on whether or not to stay in the Indian Summer or return to England to give birth. We had a beautiful baby shower, a heartbreaking goodbye and long haul flight. I spent two days in labour, two hours pushing and two months in with my family, making happy memories, before flying back to India (to make a few more).
I've felt the sting of guilt when taking my baby away from a family who adore him and the blissful sigh of relief when reuniting him with his father and family who cherish him. An international marriage is not easy, there are many disadvantages. It's been a tough road, and continues to have its bumpy days. But, where is just so much I would have missed out on if I didn't take that leap of faith.
To this day, I'm still surprised that I met someone so special on the Internet. This year I realised if I hadn't moved to India for love, I would not have faced the challenges that helped me learn, grow and heal. If I hadn't moved to India for love, I would not had the experiences that have shaped me into the person I am proud to be today.
Someone close to me told me, before I moved to India, it would be easier to marry someone from England. Easier? Probably. Would I have been happier? I doubt it!
***
If you want to help me celebrate my birthday, please consider making a donation to Women In Need. A charity based in the city I call home, Nagpur.About Lauren Mokasdar
Lauren fell in love on the internet, took a one way flight from England, got married & started a new life & bicultural family in India. She writes about finding happiness & balance between two very different worlds, when her baby takes a nap.
