When we think of Relationships or Marriages we have such a “vision” of Happiness and Bliss
and then soon find out The “Honeymoon” Stage does not last forever. But why? Why doesn’t it?
Why cant it? What changes or What Factors in? Well When we are in the ‘honeymoon” stage or when we have just met, aren’t we really on our “best” behavior? Normally no Ego or Pride or Judgement factor in. We are in a state of spiritual Bliss Kissing and hugging and holding one another, holding hands, laughing and playing, It really is our Inner Child coming out and being real. The Real us is who is actually participates in the honeymoon stage Its who our partner has fallen in love with, our true loving selves. And then as time persists and you spend more and more time together you begin to pack your layers back on, you find your crutches, those crutches consist of anger, low self worth, trust issues and pain and hurt. Well it might be easier to say you put your “story” back on.
Now you have two people who were just so in love last week, to annoyance, judgement, bickering, arguing, fighting , lying, hiding, and then SHIT GETS REAL . The intimacy slows down, the kissing turns into pecks on the cheek, the romance goes away, The sweetness tuns into tolerance, The Love is there, but annoyance is also very present. We find this happening in so many relationships and marriages. She stopped this or he stopped that. The T.V Comes on and seriously couples are setting in front of it and simply not communicating unless they are laughing at the TV or asking for something to drink. Then there are those times when they find themselves going out to dinner or somewhere but they bring those damn cellular devices and their eyes are focused on their cell phones and not on each other.
Why? Why cant we stay the way we were when we met? Why can’t the “honeymoon stage” last forever….. Well I hear it all of the time, that is a fairy tale. Its just fate, life is as it is, we get up in the morning we go to work (While at work, one or both partners are searching the internet for porn or an emotional relationship or friends with benefits or searching craigslist for who knows what) then we come home, find ourselves on the couch asking one another what do you want for dinner, then dinner is ordered,then we watch a couple more hours of TV. and then we got to bed to do it all over again tomorrow. Eventually Adultery, Alcoholism, Drug Abuse, unhappiness, settling and frustration come into play. Then Facebook is lit up with posts about how your life sucks and how big of an asshole the other is.
The Quote : “Be who you were when you first met and there will be no Exs” Rings true and I sure wish Lee and I would have realized this before we went through Hell a few times, however Our connection stayed strong even when we were not “together”. Lee and I learned the Hard way
how to get to where we are now. That is one of the reasons we do what we do, we help others to not have to go through the hell, we teach them them the tools to live in “The Honeymoon stage” always. We teach them how to communicate in honesty. We teach them how to stand in their Truth.
Imagine if you will a Union, Two People who are so in love so deep in love even a few years in they act as if they are still dating, Well Wait. You don’t have to Imagine let me tell you, lee and I after all of this time still giggle with each other, we still look into each others eyes, we cry together, we laugh together, We seriously tell each other EVERYTHING, Lee knows how much I weigh, I call him in the bathroom when I step on the scales, I know what he weighs, I know everything about Lees past, about his life and vise Versa and we don’t judge each other. Lee opens the car door for me still, He kisses my forehead. He is not afraid to stand in feminine energy and show his emotion. Lee and I will just turn on the music and slow dance in the living room. We flirt with each other.
Lee and I do everything together, we work side by side everyday, we eat together, we sleep together, when we leave the house we rarely leave the house without one another. Just Last week at a family function we were in my sisters back yard and the chairs were in a circle and I went inside and when I came back out, my daughter was in my chair next to lee,so i grabbed a chair and pulled it up close to Lee, my sister had a fit, she looked at me and said DAMN Sherry you CAN be apart from him!! YOU WONT DIE! You dont have to sit Right by him all of the time.
I understand that and I Can be without Lee, I Can and I do things without him from time to time but the fact is I WANT to be near him, I WANT to sit next to him, I love how we communicate. Lee and I keep NOTHING hidden from one another. If Im feeling some sort of way I can be honest about everything. If im sad I can tell him why, If Im mad I can tell him why. We dont keep things in.
all of our passwords are the same in our devices we share e mails, We share Facebook we share a damn cell phone, why have two when you are always together anyway? There is NOTHING,NOTHING hidden within us.
Do you know how free that is? Do you know how liberating it is to be able to be so completely open and honest with someone? Do you know whats its like if I need to cry I can for no reason, I can and he will hold me I dont have to hold it in, I dont have to hide. Do you have any idea how free it is when I am feeling really self conscious I can say to him I just dont feel good about myself right now and he will just listen and ask how can I help you? I am in a union with a man who loves me unconditionally, he accepts me for who I am and He shows his love for me daily.
We Kiss, We cuddle, We spoon, We still hold hands when we are in public. We are in a union of no jealously, no Judgement, No trust issues at all, and it was safe for me to let down those walls. I am safe with him he will not hurt me. He is kind, Loving and sweet. We go to bed every night together and wake up kissing in the morning and the intimacy well lets just say,,,The House does a lot of Rockin,,
Lee and I are not perfect there are few times when our egos get activated the difference is we know that its ego and we communicate it, we talk about it,and they are quickly diffused. It seems to be getting few and far between though and we are identifying any egoic issues before they get out of hand. When I do get angry and I sometimes do Lee simply asks me how im feeling we get straight to the root with one another and that works for us. We dont hold on to any pasts what has happened has happened we cannot change it, we dont EVER bring up past hurts or circumstances it has not place in our union. I call it a Union because we are in Union with one another it is Far Beyond a Relationship.
It took us having to Free ourselves of our Stories, It took Having to go in and peel back the layers it took us doing our work, and dammit we did it the hard way, Should we both have been free of our stories, should we both had been ready before hand we would not have had to go through so much hell, The lying, The Cheating, The Stealing, The Hiding, The Little White Lies, The Manipulation, The Control Issues, The Jealousy, The Yelling, The Arguing, The Pain, The Hurt, The Bringing up of the past, The Holding on to hurt, and all the rest of the hell could have been avoided. This is what we do, Our Boot Camp Program for individuals does just that, we go in and peel back your layers, we clean your house for you so you are READY for your Big Love. So you can find your big Love,or so your Big Love can find you!
We also do couples in crisis on the verge of break up or divorce or stuck in abusive cycles. We coach them back to healthy patterns and give them the tools to continue. We changed we took control of our lives, we broke cycles and patterns, we debunked the quote “once a cheater, always a cheater”, or” once a Liar always a liar”. We overcame, We got stronger and we Started a Business teaching the tools we use everyday, tools that work, tools that bring peace and love to all of those who use them. Fairy Tale? YES,Yes it is a FairyTale and we LIVE in it everyday! Dreams do come true, We have proven that and every single day of this fairy tale life it gets better and there is more kissing and more romance and more love making to do. We flirt when we clean the house or clean out the car, we flirt when we take out the trash, we flirt when we are working. This is real life,the way it should be, the way it can be It is out there and you can have it to,It is inside of you, it is inside of all of us. We found it in ourselves and then we found it in each other now we are free from the bondage of our layers, of our stories.
Life is good, no, Life is great,we have a wonderful family, great friends and we have the most amazingly honest union, We are Free, We are in Peace, We are Deeply Connected in truth to one another and we have forever butterflies and our “honeymoon stage” is everyday life!
Love Hard
Sherry (lois)
