Pick up line, that’s what I think and frame in my mind all the time, trying to impress a girl for a relationship, one night stand, half an hour stand or whatever, I am actually fucked up with my monotonous life, don’t actually know which way I am leading.I see humans really as a part of the society who needs someone to live. We are social animals alas! Back when I was in twelfth, I was promoted from being the voice of the play to playing the role of the hero for five minutes, as Daniel who was playing the lead role caught up in the accident slipping down the stairs.I will not say that I am a born actor, I really chocked twice to stand in-front of the girl whom I liked. My dialog delivery was perfect but I was no way suited for being the lead. I knew myself better.
Years later from then, I guess I am not so good with the dialog stuff of mine, “Pick-up lines”, That’s what I think and frame in my mind all the time”.
I see people dating and I imagine myself in their shoes, trying to fascinate the male instinct of mine, imagining about kissing the girl and making out with her while my eyes are closed but as soon as I open my eyes, my emotions are shattered. I find myself alone trying to find little of the exciting part to pull the socks up and say “Yeah this is the girl for me”.
I doubt, I feel I would rather die single.
My heart is irritated from being single and my phone is irritated of notifying me that it is“Out of memory”, I don’t know how many times I have installed different dating apps in order to find the perfect mate for me. I tried it all “POF dating app”, “Ok cupid”, “Badoo”, updating the sexiest pic of mine, writing up the bio in such a way that it looks the best. I was desperate.
I then heard about “Tinder”. From dating experiments, viral videos to parody ‘Tinderella’, it was all over the internet. I’d tried every site except tinder, so I thought to give it a try. I swiped right the entire day knowing that at the end of the day, I’ll at least have a handful of girls to talk to. In the midst of a several matches, I saw a beautiful girl with perfectly black hair and hazel eyes. Her smile caught my attention. She was beautiful but not in the sexy- kind- of- a- way that you would have expected but there was something about her that made her irresistible to me.
I won’t say that her instant reply was the first reason for me to go gaga about her. But I felt like I couldn’t stop myself from talking more.
We were a match!She liked me too and it boosted my self-image to rocket high level. Our conversations were mostly flirtatious. She told me how she loved my manly looking beard and I narrated a poem on her radiant smile. It was a quick attraction and our conversation was finally led to a meeting a few weeks later. Our first date!
We met in a coffee shop. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee infused with her sweet body scent turned me on. I soon came to realize that not only she had a personality but also she had wits and a great sense of humor. I never thought that I would fall for someone this fast and that too by meeting her on a social dating application…
…but I was. Wait, I already did. I was nervous with all my heart. I was scared that the night might end and she would leave. Would she? I had found an emotional connection with this pretty lady sitting next to me and I felt insecure because she meant more to me than just a one night stand.
I was feeling more about the love tunes, my heart beat was running way too fast to imagine what’s next. I started decrypting her thoughts, “what does she want from me?”. I wished that I could know about how this evening is going to end. I was entangled in the projection of my mind and heart.
She was able to sense it all “Are you okay? I mean I am seeing you losing the cool”, she gently put her hands on mine trying to bring me back to my senses. Bring me back to her.
But she never knew that every second I was falling for her even more then the last time. I collected myself together and thought to go with the flow, I had my time, my whole time to take care of the situation, to speak to her about what she meant to me.
I smiled and replied back “Nah, I’m….I’m fine, I guess.”
I knew what was there in the next stream. I was hoping not to screw things up in my desperation so I was finding my old self together, trying to frame the wishes of mine in small couplets of words and dialogues.
“Do you want to join me up to my place? We can have a glass of red wine together unless you don’t drink after coffee” I asked winking mischievously as I brought myself back to my senses.
She smiled.
We walked our way to my apartment which was just four lanes apart from the current place we were. I never thought that I would be able to pull this off. I really wanted to speak to her, to communicate my deepest desires for her. I had waited for someone like her for my entire life but I kept quiet with this kind of chattering of my heart and talked more to the things which interested her.
We drank a glass of wine which became two and then I lost count. I still can’t remember how but soon we were on the bed while the darkness surrounded us. We both were high, we both were hungry for love, I could sense that. I felt like a wild animal ready to unleash. Maybe she felt the same too, maybe, maybe not. All I knew was tonight would be the night.
I lay next to her and played with her hair. She said nothing and this surprised me. She just kept looking at me through the cascading hair, I just messed.
What happened later is just a faint memory.
Her fingertips started to play a tune on me, leaving Goosebumps where they were treading. I held her close and blew my warm breath on the nape of her neck and we both knew that this night won’t end. I dug deeper into her collarbone, leaving her short of breath.
We inhaled desire and exhaled passion.
There was a burning desire that was quenching some and igniting some but we didn’t stop till the sunlight sneaked in through the crystal clear windows. The bed seemed our map and we were the lost travelers, exploring every inch of each other while we tried to weave a story together.
We were high. We were together and I guess we were building our future, moreover I really wanted to build my future with her, and all I had to do was to talk to her about it. Talk to her that this won’t just be the happiness of one night passionate feel.
I really thought about this is it, when I woke up in the morning. This was something which I waited so long. She was the one for whom god saved me from all the other girls. My desire and hope finally started shifting from I to We.
I wanted to make her feel special. I wanted to talk to her about US, Us being together.
My eyes were still closed while my mind raced with these thoughts. I never thought that someone like me who was once desperate for any girl would be clean bowled by the first one on his bed.
I felt loved, I smiled.
I turned back on the other side of the bed to kiss on her forehead and wish a very good morning but instead end up hugging nothing but air. She was not there.
I shouted her name slowly which then turned into cries. I checked every nook and corner, where ever I could. Poof! She was gone.
I took my head in my hands and asked myself “why?” Did I fall for her too fast? Did I trust her in haste? Are dating application like Tinder just made for random hookups on your call?
The sun rose and shone brightly on my face. It was a new day, it was a new me.
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This piece of fiction is penned by Sankalp Singh and I. It's insane that this has been delayed since months but it's finally here. It was great working with him. One of my great blogger friend, Sankalp is an amazing person and is very kind at heart. It's been a pleasure to be able to write a story together :) Make sure you check out his blog as well.
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