Image by vanhookc via Flickr
A woman I know shared with me something important and since I’m a word watcher – I jumped all over it.
She told me that once when she had a very important and huge opportunity to speak in front of her peer association another member came up to her just before she had to go on stage and said, “Don’t foul up!”
“Imagine.” She said to me, “What that does to your brain.”
When you tell someone not to do a negative thing – the mind reels –
First: Because it isn’t a direction – Saying – “Don’t foul up” isn’t direction, isn’t helpful, isn’t kind.
Second: Because the mind attempts to comply – it’s totally focused on the action word – in this case the word “foul” – even typing it made me feel foul – yuck!
Third: Think of your ego and how suddenly it gets involved – “Do you think I’m stupid – a bad speaker – incapable? Why would you tell me to not foul up?” and the questions continue running in your mind – instead of using your mind to focus on your presentation, and the people in front of you expecting your best.
So – if you want someone to do poorly, feel bad and dislike you – simply say – before a meeting, a presentation, a sales call, a game – “Don’t foul up!”
If you want someone to do well, feel great and adore you – simply say – before a meeting, a presentation, a sales call, a game – or in general – “Do your best!” – or “I believe in you!” or “You can do this!” Or “Go do your magic.” (That one was texted to me one time and completely shifted my mood set me up to win and increased my admiration for the sender)
You have choices every moment – we all do – how will you use your words?
Will you use them to uplift and inspire others or to frighten and pull others down? I vote for the first one and I have a strong feeling if you’re reading this – you do to!
Remember you create your day by the way you think – and also by what you say – make it magnificent!
Blessings, Shawna
www.PeopleSkills.us
