Recently, the thought of having this much uninterrupted time with the thoughts running through my head is exhausting and terrifying. I was interested to see how it was going to go, considering I hardly spoke to anyone for days while they were away. Let me now clarify something as well, I have always been somewhat of a loner but not always a happy loner. When the wheels are set in motion, I sometimes wish there was someone there to distract me from the chaos going on in my head. Anyway, on about the second day of my loner status, I realized that my teeth weren't hurting (my teeth hurt when I think too much, get anxious, or stressed because I subconsciously push my tongue against the front two... yes, I'm a looney toon). They weren't hurting because I was calm. A sudden wave of serenity and peace came over me.
A funny combination of things happened in a few days that I changed my entire outlook on "things." First of all, as evident in recent posts, I have been stressing about how I look and feel. Well, this week I finally started to lose those few pounds that I was bitching about awhile back and I also tried a zumba class. I refused to try it in the past because I knew I'd have to go with my mom and I knew she'd be watching me the whole time. I knew she'd look over at me every five seconds asking, "Isn't this soo fun?! I gotta try to get the hips moving better!" but like I said, my mother was out of town. Zumba was mine for the trying. I really am such a closet do-er, I don't get it, but what I do get is now that I've done it once without her I'm happy to attend the classes whether she's there or not. I'm pumped. I needed some motivation and a change of pace to get me looking forward to the gym instead of dreading it. FYI, if you don't know what zumba is, it is a hip hop/salsa dance class. Do it.
Another revelation was that I really don't hate working at my parent's office as much as I thought I was going to during those first few days. Is it something I'll be able to do for months and months or years and years? Abso-effin-lutely NOT but for the time being, it is part of the routine.
I've also put myself "back out there" but this time I ain't playin' any old game of baseball with these guys. I don't want a line-up of dates so I'm being incredibly picky in this department right now. What's funny is that I'm not being picky for any other reason then that I'm just not bothered. I was told to commit to being non committed and while at first I negatively reacted to that advice, this week I'm oddly enough unconsciously doing just that. I had another funny moment with myself in the car on the drive home from Maryland on Friday (which I'll dive further into in a second). For awhile now I've been looking for a man to sweep me up and rock my world. I was seeing some older men in hopes that they would show me places and take me to do things that I've never done before. I was looking for someone who I considered to live a better life than I do and to share it with me. So, in the car I was blasting "Sigh No More" (gets reallly good at 1:20 onward) for the gazillionth time and it hit me - I have an amazing life that I want to share with someone. I don't need a man to show me the ropes or to take me to the good life because I'm freakin' living it!
The night before I saw Mumford & Sons at the Merriweather Post Pavilion in Columbia, Maryland. The show brought me to tears. Gosh, am I a sap or what? On the way down to Maryland, I was listening to "Awake My Soul" (Sound familiar? I've written two other posts inspired by their music) and mid-belt out I had to stop and laugh at myself because I was actually tearing up! I just couldn't believe that I was going to see Mumford & Sons live. I was actually going to hear the music that gets me through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sweet life, dude.
At Merriweather, there is a large lawn area of amped up drunk kids ready to sing and dance their hearts out. I had a seat under the pavilion which I was happy to have when a severe thunderstorm hit. HOWEVER, in the midst of the sheets of rain pouring down on the crowd, the majority of them stayed and even began chanting and dancing. I wanna be a rock starrrrr, wahhhh! The looks on Mumford & Sons' faces were priceless. They couldn't believe the dedication. I'm grateful to have seen them at this point in their career because they still have that "Holy sh!t, since when are we famous and why do all of these people know our lyrics by heart" attitude. There's nothing better than that. They claimed that we were the largest crowd they have ever had on their tour, and whether that's true or not, I do know that it was the loudest crowd I've ever heard. That's saying something considering I've been to my share of concerts ranging from The Starting Line to the Backstreet Boys. The distinction I will make, and why I think it was so positively overwhelming is that the crowd wasn't just loudly screaming "I LOVE YOU!! OMG, WE'RE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS!!" but instead we were singing. We all knew the words and I could feel the enthusiasm.
I heart you. No, really though, me love you long time. [By randomly searching Google for this post, I found out that he is supposedlydating Carey Mulligan. I never get upset about this sort of thing but it'sactually really pissing me off. Tell me, Marcus, DOES SHE CRYLISTENING TO YOUR MUSIC LIKE I DO?! I'm upset, I'm really upset].
Listening to the people singing nearest to me, I realized that it wasn't simply a sing-a-long either. I could hear the connections that others have made with these songs, the way I have. The lyrics are powerful and meaningful. The instruments are so precisely played that you can feel it in your bones. And on top of all of that, to see the band playing, singing, and jumping around on stage absolutely infatuated with the moment was an experience unlike any other. I think my favorite moment of the entire show was the encore. As they slowly walked back on stage to play one last song, you could see it in their faces that the moment was really hitting them as much as it was hitting us (or maybe just me lol). The camera men zoomed in on their faces and the looks in their eyes was that of shock and acceptance when "it" happens, when the dream comes true. Here's my guess at what Marcus (the lead singer) was thinking, "Wow, this is really happening. I'm back on stage to play an encore at our biggest gig yet....I can't believe this is my life." Just a guess. They were almost shaking their heads as if they finally had to accept that they are famous. I love that about them. Dey got soul. They sang "The Cave" for the encore and of course I was tearing up again watching and singing along.
Really though, if anyone ever asks what makes me happy and/or what to give me as a gift ;-) concert tickets is a no brainer. Besides the music, I really enjoy the lights. They add an element to the songs that I don't get when I'm listening in the shower or the car. Anyway, in the past year I've seen two of the most amazing shows, Joshua Radin and Mumford & Sons. I think I finally have answers to two of my most hated questions, "What type of music do you like? And who are you favorite artists?" Answer: Mumford & Sons and Joshua Radin. Done and done. I can't believe I just said that...I'm cringing a little bit considering ten other names jumped in my head (and I feel badly about excluding them, it breaks my heart) but these two are unparalleled talents.
This week my favorite Mumford & Sons song is "After the Storm"... how fitting, right? As Marcus would say, "It's a quiet but strong one and I hope you enjoy it." I'm also honored to have had the privilege of hearing four new and unreleased songs. David Spade on an SNL Weekend Update skit said it well, "When you're at a show and the band says, 'Here's something from our new album,' why don't they just say, 'everyone get up and go to the bathroom?'" Honestly, that's usually how I feel as well. But put it this way, (God bless YouTube) because I've already memorized the new songs and am going to personally call up Marcus and demand that he end the tour now and get back to the studio to make a new record (in my best English accent).
"And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears And love with not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.Get over your hill and see what you find there,With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair"
So anyway, Sassarella Says....goosfraba! Take time for yourself to re-group, re-evaluate, and re-charge. The best part about this past week, and why I know the commitment to being non-committed is legit, is because I wasn't trying to be that way. It just happened. When you let go, good things will come. Better yet, let go while listening to my declared favorite band, (Woweee, did I just say that? This blog really is therapy) Mumford & Sons. I've come a long way from that favorite color debacle and have moved on to the idea that someone should be seeking ME out because I live a fantastic life. Por ejemplo, I'm a few hours from seeing Avicii at Surf Club with the Laur Laur. Woot!
P.S. If you're interested in the new songs: "Below My Feet" (my favorite so far), "Lover of the Light", "Lovers Eyes", and "Hopeless Wanderer" are all fabulous!
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