Decision made....Finally!

Yes
After all my thinking TalkingAnd writing about it I've made a decision about my course After many sleepless nights I've decide to walk away from the course At least for nowIt feels like the right decision It feels like I am doing what's best for me I spoke to my tutor on Friday She was lovely And told me that the door is always open And if I ever need a reference To call her I though that was a very encouraging sentiment As for me?It feels like a wright has been lifted I feel free And now I have the time to do what I want I'm going back to horse therapy on Wednesdays And also doing a few hours in a stables near my house on a Tuesday Just because I am letting the course goDoesn't mean I am letting horses goOh noI will be around  them one way or another I also need to sort out my recovery tooAnd get back on trackI'm not eating And I need to I'm struggling with my meds a bit So need some support there tooAnd not just be roared at by someone Yea sister I am talking to you!I'll be seeing Mary weekly tooAs well as that I want to get back to regular meetings AA or NAJust something to keep me on the straight and narrow You know?But yes I have a plan of action Then maybe down the road I will be in a better place to do the horsemanship course 
In other news My big girl Lea has been poorly recently I noticed on the last few weeks That sometimes she loses control of her back legs And collapses Then on Thursday it seemed to be getting worse By Friday she could barely walkAnd was in a bad wayI rang the vetWho said that was not good And to bring her in immediately So we helped Lea in to the car And headed offShe seemed to be getting worse and worse And looked very unwellWe arrived at the vet Who took one look at Lea And said that she needed an x-rayThe vet gave her a sedative And told us to collect her that evening I felt so bad for herShe looked so confused and afraid But it was for her benefit The afternoon dragged I thought 5pm would never come But it did And we headed back to the vet She brought us in to the surgery roomAnd explained to us that the x-ray showed they Lea has a condition called spondylosis Which effects the bone and nerves in her spine There is no cure for this condition But it can be treated with medicine So basically Now it's a waiting game To see if the meds work If not The vet said it would be cruel to let her live like that I left the vets feeling very disheartened We brought Lea home She was really struggling to move and walkI gave her first dose of medicine that evening Bless her She is a brave girlShe went to bed early And I woke up the next morning Anxious to see how she was going To my great delight and surprise She seemed a lot better She was walking and moving And she looked a lot more comfortable and steady on her feet The vet has her on rest though So no walks for the next could of weeksToday she is better againAnd came in the car to the shops I did a bit of reading about her condition And it does effect older dogs It can be managed but not cured So hopefully the meds will continue to work And we can have our beautiful girl with us for many more years 
It's great he beginning of another year This year marks my fifth year blogging My third year smoke freeMy second year drug free I am hopeful for the future I am super excited to be going back to horse therapy I'm relieved that I don't have the stress of my course anymore I feel positive in myself and my recovery And I am so ready for all the challenges that 2017 has in store for me This year is going to be a good one I can just feel itI'm doing my level best to do the right thing The right thing for me I really struggled with my course And it caused massive stress and anxietyAs ever I tried to do too much too soon As they lovely Agnes wrote to me today Life is a marathon Not a sprintThis really resonated with me As I tend to throw myself head first in to things Without thinking them through I plow ahead Full steam All guns blazing And inevitably crash and burn in spectacular fashion I'm always ten steps ahead of myself Which is both a positive and negative thing It's good because I get things done efficiently and quickly It's bad because I tend to be impulsive and spontaneous which can back fire My Mam is always telling me to pace myself Sound advice And I'm really going to try and implement this in the future  Easy RubyTake it easySo That's the plan for the next few months And hopefully my job in the holiday center will come up again in JuneIn the mean time I will stay busy Stay occupied And focus on what makes me happy
Have you made any new year resolutions?What are your hopes and dreams for 2017?