Creativity Magazine

Dear Allen

By Heddigoodrich
Dear Allen (or would you prefer Mr. Unwin?)
Thank you for getting back to me so quickly. It was the loveliest, most personalized, rejection I’ve ever received. However, I’m a bit baffled because, based on what I read on your online profile, you and me should have made a great match.
Knowing you, I’m pretty sure you didn’t reject me based on appearance alone. I understand some of my personal photos may have been circulated after appearing on Facebook; still, you can’t deny that I look pretty good in a black leotard. At least I did when I was nine. Or maybe you just had the wrong impression of me, and I can see how – browsing through my blog pictures – you might have thought I was a toothpaste model.
Of course, you say it’s nothing personal but solely a matter of my writing, that for you it lacked oomph. But that’s a matter of opinion, because some would say my choice of words is off this planet.
It’s a shame you weren’t able to see a future for us, that you weren’t sure what box to put me in. But it was really too kind of you to write, “It’s not you, it’s me.” However, you should probably know that I’ve been told that exact quote before, so you’d do best to cite the original author in a footnote.
But really, there’s no need for compassion here. Actually, I’ve moved on. I’ve found someone else. I think. It’s tough finding the right person at my age: most everyone is already taken, or too young to know what a typewriter is.
Thanks for your consideration all the same and all the best to you,
P.S. If things don’t work out with this other person, would it be totally out of the question for me to give you a call?

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Dear John Letter

    My son is gone to his mom's for Easter weekend, and I am off work for Spring Break for a week for some R R. Soooo, I had a couple of drinks last night with my... Read more

    By  Dmroughton
  • If You Find Yourself at Canary Wharf Around Lunchtime, Dear Lord, Run Don’t Walk

    Find Yourself Canary Wharf Around Lunchtime, Dear Lord, Don’t Walk

    Just trust me on this one. It is no fun to find yourself at Canada Square (the shopping area where the tube drops you off) and see the sea of ravenous business... Read more

    By  Adventuresinamyland
  • Dear Road Fates

    I have two very small requests, one for me and one for Dale Earnhardt Jr. For Dale: Please let my brand new AMP t-shirt bring good luck to Dale Jr. Lately,... Read more

    By  Thefriskyvirgin
  • Dear Grumpy Old Men…

    Dear Grumpy Men…

    Please don’t come into our store expecting us to bow or grovel at your feet (unless you are Sir Bob, he is the only exception) even though I am sure in your... Read more

    By  Redneckprincess
  • Keep Calm Dear You’re Only 60

    Keep Calm Dear You’re Only

    Today, 28 July 2011, I am 60.  It is a birthday I have not been looking forward to. Despite countless …Continue reading » Read more

    By  Hurtlingtowards60
  • Dear Menopause…we Need to Talk.

    Dear Menopause…we Need Talk.

    **Disclaimer ~ If you are a man, or a really young woman, or someone that doesn’t want to hear me say fuck more than once, you might just want to skip this post. Read more

    By  Redneckprincess
  • Dear Dad... I'm Chasing Joy

    Dear Dad... Chasing

    Dear Dad, I cannot believe in a few days it will be two years since you went to rest. Time does fly. I still miss you more than is possible to express. Read more

    By  Chasingjoy