I assess the day and try to figure out what there is about it that I can leverage to make it special. I look at Dianne and try to see how she is doing today because whatever we do we do together. We have been so lucky, since I've been on disability insurance (retired essentially for health reasons) to have been able to spend the most of a year and a half together. I know that's not for everyone. I know that many people would want to spend much of that time alone to do things for themselves, but that's not how we work. Our togetherness defines who we are and we cannot make the most of a day without the other. We're lucky we can do that.
Surely, it makes things difficult at times. There is always two to please and individually, we each have our bad days. So sometimes it's just a matter of finding a way to coast through the day. To get through it and hope that the next day is better. On average, it works out well and life is pretty good. Like I say, we're pretty lucky.
The big issue I have is my extreme sensitivity to her. If I didn't care so much about how she is feeling and what it will be like for her when I'm gone, I would be happier even when she was a little bit down. But that's just the way it is and I know that and I accept it. I am a very lucky man to have someone I love so much and who loves me enough to make me feel this way. If we're together, I'm happy. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
So what do I do with the day? Visiting good friends is always a hightlight. I crave human contact at times and appreciate all of the well wishers who want to see me. I look forward to getting up to our friend's cottage and really appreciate their efforts to get me there. I worry about this summer because I'm not as well as last year, but I'm going to give it the good old school try. Sometimes just getting out to do a few errands is good for the soul, as long as we're together. A coffee at Starbucks. (Their non-fat green tea latte is particularly good. And healthy for what it's worth!) It doesn't take much. But I wonder and wait and worry.
So tired. In a nutshell that's it. And frustrated. I need to get some stuff done in the backyard this weekend and I can only watch and supervise and wish I could get my hands dirty. I just can't risk breaking my back and the world of hurt and inconvenience that would bring to everyone. I'm now on water pills to help with my breathing and, naturally, have to deal with the side effects of these. One more balancing act.
These articles might interest you :
Well since I have sucked at the last four days of pictures, I have decided that I will just post them all at once! I am tricky that way.And then for the month o... Read moreThe 30 October 2012 by Redneckprincess
DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION
Just finished watching the news, and after seeing the destruction that nature can bring, I am humbled. My daughter is living in NYC with no power, and no... Read moreThe 31 October 2012 by Joanigeltman
I have a profile on local review site Yelp and I regularly log in to review the places I've visited around Glasgow and beyond. Read moreThe 31 October 2012 by Lisagray
Please welcome Eileen of a creative day! You guys know I love a good D.I.Y., especially when it’s something budget-friendly that looks like it cost a pretty... Read moreThe 31 October 2012 by Erika Brechtel
What is the origin of new genes? In order to do new stuff, new genes are needed. Where do they come from, then? Horizontal gene transfer (HGT) - direct... Read moreThe 29 October 2012 by Bjornostman
Ah, the 90s were a wonderful time indeed. I am sure everyone remembers The Craft, at least I hope you all do. It was like The Lost Boys, except with a stellar... Read moreThe 30 October 2012 by Plotdevice39
The only reason I am posting about this movie today is because the ending to Sleepaway Camp is just frightening. Also because this movie just so happens to be... Read moreThe 31 October 2012 by Plotdevice39
MOST POPULAR FROM COMMUNITY
- A patient can help another patient ……………. by Gran13
- General Update by Rubytuesday
- support blogs for eating disorders by Survivingana
- In the know by Rubytuesday
MOST RECOMMENDED IN COMMUNITY
- What I wore: Winter Racing Carnival by Blondeambition
- Immersion: Interfaith Families and Unitarian Universalism by Susankatzmiller
- Story Bridge 75th birthday street party by Blondeambition
- Showering with Nana: Book Review by Thegenaboveme
ON THE COMMUNITY FORUM
- Men’s Watches: The Best Watches for ... Reviewed by Cartier Love Bracelet For Less