Day #12 F.U.N.K.

Okay, it's official ~ I'm in a funk.  I skipped yoga on Tuesday(due to the anniversary... fine)  I decided not to go last night because I felt nauseous, and this morning I didn't make myself go again!  So that's only 2 of 5 times I had planned to go this week. :(  True confessions: yesterday I bought two Vegan Peanut Butter Bars(favorites of Graham and I) when I was out, and ended up eating them both before he got home!  Hmmmm, do you think that had anything to do with my feeling a little sick to my stomach?   How quickly I slide from honoring what I feel, to making excuses - to just plain saying: screw it!
I HATE my period, period.  I have horrible cravings, I have horrible cramps, and I often feel as though I can barely function the first few days.  Trust me when I say that I have tried doing various things to help - believe it or not, this is actually the least I've had PMS symptoms in awhile(due to how I am eating right now I'm sure)  But here is the thing y'all; beating myself up gets me further into self-defeating behaviors than being kind and forgiving does.  After confessing to Graham that I had eaten his treat, he said; "it's easy to do, you did it - big deal, it could have been 2 pints of Ben and Jerry's..."  And I thought, gee I'm rubbing off on him!  Seriously, I thought; he is right - focus on the positive here.
So the positive is:
~ I have adhered to the principles of my detox for 12 days!(Hello, just no caffeine is a victory - but no animal products, wheat, or sugar too?! YES!) 
~I have done yoga more in the last two weeks than I have in the last 2 years! 
~I have walked consistently, taken vitamins, and have moved through a lot of procrastinations...
Could I be doing better, sure - but I could be doing much much worse.  I have to remind myself that this is my path, and my choices affect me, more than they affect anyone else.  I am doing this for me, I created my plan for me with me in mind. 
As things come up, as they always do - I have 2 choices:
 1)Beat myself up to the point I convince myself I'm not capable, or worthy of trying.
 2)Notice, forgive, and move forward. 
The journey to find health, from the starting point at which I have been for most of my life, is not a short one.  This 30 day detox is one step in the right direction; I have the rest of my life to continue to learn and grow ~ and to find the path that feels right.  Just for today, I forgive my humanness, and I celebrate my victories!  How many of you out there need to focus more on what you are doing right?  It's so easy to criticize... but we all hear that enough.  Be the first to forgive, teach others how to treat you, by treating yourself well.