By, Lauren Bailey
Let’s cut to the chase. You care a lot about your career, but you’re sick of being classified as an abnormal woman–for not wanting to start a family or date seriously.
Somehow this would lead many to think of you as a feminist and, overall, feminists are seen in a negative light. How does one differentiate the good witches from the bad ones? More importantly, can we filter out the phonies?
My definition of a phony feminist: the woman who acts like she’s independent and career-oriented because she thinks men will find that kind of self-confidence attractive. She’s most definitely wrong about that, but we’ll let that lovesick puppy figure it all out on her own. There are all kinds of feminist stereotypes, and some would say (our male brethren included) the world would be a better place without them.
No real woman strictly falls into any specific category, but we’ll briefly discuss the stereotypes anyway.
First, there is the most rampantly spread stereotype, the feminists that all men fear: the young woman who wants the concept of gender completely abolished. She’ll burn her bra, invest in some cargos, and shave her head just to make a point. Oh, and don’t forget, you’ll see her on the subway with the latest feminist publication (that only about 20 people read around the world).
So where do you fit in? All stereotypes come from some real truth, right? What do you do when your Mom tells you to stop ignoring the obvious? Something about your “biological mommy clock” and how it’s ticking faster than you could ever imagine?
As a 45- year old female ER doctor, who is completely content with her life (despite 60 hour work weeks), I say absolutely nothing. If you are content with your career and your way of life, don’t let societal norms bring you down!
Perhaps the most important question that remains left answered: what makes you a high powered career woman instead of a crazy cat lady? In a nutshell, your attitude says it all. We (women) are each other’s toughest critics. We judge each other WAY more than necessary. I’ve heard my sister say she doesn’t even dress up for her husband anymore; she dresses up more for her girlfriends. Odd, but true.
A crazy cat lady would scorn others for being housewives, stay at home moms, or gold diggers. By following in her footsteps, you are setting a bad precedent. If you don’t want to be ridiculed for your lifestyle, don’t ridicule others for theirs. Buy all the cats you want, but don’t feel like you are being disloyal (to your high-powered innerself) by hanging out with your best friend and her two adorable newborn twins. Being the fun aunt or godmother has great benefits: you get to do all the fun stuff, but the real mom (your lucky best friend) has to clean up and pay for those rug rats for the next 18 years.
What type of societal pressure do you feel when it comes to dating, marriage, children and your career?
How do you deal with it?
This guest post is contributed by Lauren Bailey, who regularly writes for online colleges. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: blauren99 @gmail.com.
