I am going to invoke an analogy which may not make any sense (though it does seem apropos with regard to the impending Mayan apocalypse)
But.
Have you ever seen and/or listened to War of the Worlds?
Okay, so the premise is that these virtually unstoppable space aliens invade Earth, killing people left and right, slurping up their bodily fluids for sustenance. Earth is doomed, right? WRONG. The aliens start dying off on account of not having an immunity to all the tiny microorganisms and bacteria that populate the earth. THE EARTH IS SAVED.
Stay with me.
In this analogous scenario, I am the invading space alien and these cookies are Earth. I could attempt to destroy them, but ultimately it would end up being my undoing because those tiny, innocuous looking chocolate chippers happen to contain a substance that my body reacts to with the same inflammatory response as, say, chugging a liter of antifreeze.
Maybe that comparison is a bit extreme. Maybe this whole analogy is getting waaaay out of hand. BUT it provides important backstory for those among my dear readers who haven’t been with me for very long, and perhaps have yet to notice the single ingredient that is mysteriously absent from each and every one of my baked goods: chocolate.
I’ve known about my caffeine allergy for about 9 months, and during that time I’ve done everything I can to avoid contact with the stuff: avoiding chocolate, coffee, tea, and soda at all costs; throwing out all my skincare products containing green tea extract and tea tree oil; even avoiding walking into coffee shops on account of the coffee particles in the air.
SO WHAT AM I DOING BAKING CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES?!?!
Because I love my mother. And my mother expects a Christmas present of some sort this year. A Christmas present from me, penniless and armed with naught but the knowledge of my mother’s intense love affair with all things cacao.
And almond. And coconut. And gluten-free.
This particular recipe meets four out of four requirements, and is inspired by one I recently spotted over at one of my favorite online haunts, Oh She Glows. Despite sharing a kitchen with chocolate for half an hour, I managed to come out mostly unscathed, even though my first attempt got a bit dangerous (read as: gruesome and bloody). Ultimately, my undying filial devotion saw me through.
If you’re one of the vast majority of alien invaders fortunate enough to be immune to the deadly Earth substance known as chocolate, then I’d say there’s no better way to prepare for the impending world-annihilating invasion this Friday than to whip up a quick batch of these babies.
And if you’re not… well.. there’s always raisins.
ingredients
1/4 c almond butter
1/4 c virgin coconut oil
3/4 c brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp almond extract
1 tbsp ground flax seeds + 2 tbsp water
1 c almond flour
1 c oat flour *
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 c chocolate (or carob!) chips
directions
1. In a small bowl, combine flax seeds and water. Let stand for a few minutes until thickened.
2. In a medium mixing bowl, cream together almond butter and coconut oil. Add sugar, vanilla, almond extract, and flax seeds mixture and stir until combined.
3. Stir in dry ingredients (almond flour, oat flour, baking soda, baking powder, & salt) to form a stiff dough. Fold in chocolate chips.
4. Roll dough into 1″ balls and place on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes.
* To make your own oat flour, give a generous 1 c of gluten-free oats a quick spin in the blender or food processor.
