Hello,
As Shakespeare wrote, “Tis, Twas, Aforesaid herewith are we not yet more than but could we be? Advance yonder light and rest upon my girded goatee.” Couldn’t have put it better myself.
Here are some new sports to look out for in 2015!
1. Rolf – Use clubs to smack a hefty, big boned Viking around a muddy field for a bit (Imagine Game of Thrones meets Crazy Golf.)
2. Incessance - A woman in her 60’s sits next to you on a bus and talks utter shite until your ears bleed and your stools turn black with impotent rage. A sport that combines endurance, pointlessness and constipation in equal measure.
3. Nonogenarian Bollock Drop and Roll Ball - You will be aghast at the stretchy sack elderly gentlemen possess.
4. Bacon Pocket - Throw a slice of bacon into a team mate’s pocket from 100 feet. The Javelin meets Lacrosse using cured meats. The Spanish variant is known as Chip my Chorizo (“Chippo meo Chorizo” in the native tongue.)
5. Udder Pool – Arrange your prize milker over the green baize and use the powerful milk stream to pot the balls! Also known as Bull Pull but this version is for the strong of wrist and fleet of foot!!
Come On Kate!
