This past weekend was possibly the longest I've ever had. I lost my father in law. We didn't expect it , and there was a wall of grief around us as I determined to enjoy my birthday weekend. Two days later I turned 50.
Some may say when grief impacts a weekend that's supposed to be joyful and celebratory, and then ... to celebrate, when we're supposed to be grieving, it's just-- wrong.
I disagree.
Grief is supposed to involve emotion.
It's supposed to be embraced. To grieve means to express sorrow. And that, I did. With close friends and also the love . The love for my love one, the love for my life lived fully, to fifty. I expressed my love for learning and living 50 years; and yet welcomed the joy of its arrival. I expressed, embraced and enjoyed it all.
To the FULL.
And considering that this YEAR my word for 2017 was "Embrace"; I had to challenge myself to do more, be more, reach for more. I knew year 50 would never come again, & if I were to be present with my grief, then I must receive all that was for me in that moment.
Yes...Grief impacted me, the pain, the loss, the sadness, yet I also celebrated the life of a man and how he lived it to the very moment of turning it over; to the turning of a century over my life. Wow. Almost cataclysmic emotion, it was. To experience such highs and lows in only a few days. A new page, a new era for myself, a life to celebrate & memories left behind to share with friends & family....all rolled into one.
I can smile. I can embrace this life with all its sudden and exclamatory emotion, and STILL be at peace with God, my family and myself.
Yes ...because this life And...his life ... was celebratory, too.
Selah.
