I went through a difficult time in 2009. I was very ill with an unknown virus in my brain. It caused me to have blackouts and I was very ill, I was on various pills and had seen what seems like hundreds of doctors, consultants, psychologists, neurosurgeons... You name them I probrably saw them! I was in hospital for 2 weeks. When I came out of hospital I could barely walk 50 yards. I had 9 months off school before returning for a couple of classes here and there. It was difficult for me for my family because it was never diagnosed so I could be given the right medicine it was just trial and error but none of them seemed to work.
Over time I just had to accepted it. I had to be grateful that I was very slowly improving and that I had people around me who loved me.The most difficult part was that I could blackout up to 40 times an hour. I needed to be watched constantly as I never knew when I would black out and often hurt myself from falling on things or down stairs.It was hard and I felt a burden on my parents because they had to watch me and help me all the time and felt really low for quite a few months. I never felt suicidal. I just felt lonely because I couldn't really leave the house and at age 14 all my friends were going to parties and to the cinema and I couldn't. Blogging was a huge escape for me and made me feel positive and surrounded by lovely people.
I always have a positive outlook on life and even during that time in my life I always tried to smile and make others feel happy. I would try and make my mom laugh when she stayed in hospital with me and we always got amusement from watching other patients and their families in the ward.The nurses were lovely and always tried to make sure I had something to do and food that I liked, the food was truly awful. After the two weeks and quite a few more overnight stays if my blackouts got out of control and we couldn't stop them then I would have to go in and be knocked out.Over the nine months that I wasn't at school my strength began to grow and so did myself esteem. I am very pleased to say that it has been a year since my last blackout and I am more confident and happier than ever. I never gave up hope that I would fully recover, yes I had lows but also highs. It makes you appreciate things we have in life that little bit more. Nothing is impossible if you believe.Be positive, stay positive and life will be positive.
Laura x(It has taken a lot of courage for me to share this with you and thank you for being there for me because with out you and this blog and don't know where I would be <3)
