I tend to forget about the fact that I completed a half marathon in spite of gaining back twenty-two pounds. I also tend to forget the fact that I can lift heavy weights. I'm stronger than I've ever been in my life. Why does this not cross my mind when I'm putting myself down? And my eating habits? They have changed drastically! Don't get me wrong, I'd still love to sit down with a tub of frosting and eat every last lick. But I do not allow myself to do that anymore. First of all, I'd probably get sick because my body isn't used to all those chemicals and all that sugar. Second of all, I know so much better now. I know what food makes me thrive and what food makes me sluggish.
All of these things are huge accomplishments for someone on a weight loss journey, and yet I continue to put myself down every single day. Will this ever end? Will I ever get to the point where I say, "This is my perfect body and I am completely satisfied." Or will I always criticize myself?
After my fiancé took this photo of me in LA last weekend, I looked at my phone and I immediately thought, "Why do I think I'm fat???!!!" My arms look amazing and defined! My waist is tiny. And most importantly, my skin is clear! {Thanks to the Whole 30} If only I could continuously see myself as I did in the moment. Life would be so much easier.
In the photo below, I wasn't even at my heaviest on the left. I remember those jeans were very tight around my waist. I'm pretty sure they were a 16. I wear a 12 now. At my heaviest I was an 18. Buying a size 18 was my reality check.
Again, I wasn't at my heaviest yet in the photo on the left but you can definitely see I carried extra weight in my belly.
And then there was my chin and neck area. Thankful to see changes there. My collar bone has definitely popped out more while I was on my last Whole 30.
The crazy thing is that I still wasn't at my heaviest in the photo on the left. I do not even remember being that big. Isn't it ironic that I don't remember being that big but I still see myself as being that big? The photo on the right was taken yesterday morning. Day thirty of my latest round of the Whole 30.
I know I have a ways to go on my weight loss journey. According to the BMI chart, I am still considered obese. Unfortunately they do not take muscle mass into account. And I know I'm not solid muscle. I guess I've just been critiquing myself for so long and now that's all I know how to do. I need to re-train myself. I need to treat myself physically the same way I treat myself emotionally. 
