Recently I was joking and comparing notes with my friends regarding bad pick up lines and the funny things guys say. The conversation took me through memory lane and I came up with quite a few examples that have been amusing, to put it mildly. But they're not all pickup lines, so I categorized them....enjoy:
Bad Pick-Up Lines
"People tell me I look like Tupac."
When the guy told me that I was living in Mexico and listened only to metal music so had no clue who Tupac was. Also it was before Google, so it was years later when I saw who Tupac was and yeah, the guy did look like him.
"Is it my age? Because I really like older women."
This from a guy only 5 years younger than me, so he wasn't That young.
"You'll be my cougar and I'll be your sex toy."
This from a guy 15 years younger than me.
"Are you a model?"
When guys say this, they're drunk already.
"Should I bring my clothes so I can stay over your place tonight?"
This was 2 hours before our first date, when I said no, he called back later and remembered he had something else to do.
"I'm married. Don't you find me attractive because I'm forbidden?"
Need I say more on this one?
These occured more or less in the same scenario. I would meet a guy, talked for 20 minutes or less, they would compliment me (a lot) and eventually would ask for sex and I would say no. And they would say....
"I tried to get with skinny good looking girls, and I couldn't. So I though chubby girls would be easier."
"You really look bad with that nose ring."
"This is 2009, not 1969. I'm not going to pay for you, if you work and can take care of business you won't be getting any of my money."
(I told him we should meet for coffee, and when he asked who would pay I said him. Oh yeah, before his rant he wanted to put me in his music record and marry me...but pay for coffee, that was too much)
In match.com if someone winks at you and you're not interested match says you should send them a quick "No. Thank you" which I did several times until I got:
"Well, I'm also not interested in you either!! GOOD LUCK!!!"
After that I just ignored the winks
This from a potential online penpal from Scotland, on our second e-mail where he asked things about Mexico, the weather, the food, if I've ever been to Scotland and.....
"Tell me your innermost sexual fantasies."
When I answered everything except my fantasies, he replied:
"You're not my type. I can't be with someone who's a prude."
One hour into the first date:
"So, will you be my girlfriend? No? OK, then will we have sex?"
I said no, went to the bathroom, came back and he was gone.
Can't Blame Them for Trying
I was all decked out for a night out with the girls, on our first stop a guy I've said hello to before said:
Him: "Would you like to go to dinner with me?"
Him: "Do you like subway? We can go there for dinner."
I turned him down as gently as I could. He was in his early 30's, had no car, job and lived with his parents, but he still gave it a shot.
"Do you want to go to my place? I have frozen pizza."
This from a guy who I met online, we went to the movies, but he just wasn't my type. In spite of the great offer of frozen pizza.
Flat Out Rejection
Sent a guy a Thank You text for a nice evening out, got back
"We didn't click. Good luck in your search and don't contact me again."
This one was after being little ol' me on the 'get to know you e-mails':
"You seem like you're full of yourself. I don't want to meet you in person. Bye."
And that's what I remember so far. I'm sure some men have a something to say about me, I know I've done things that make me cringe when I look back at them, but what can you do.
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