Again
My ED turned from anorexia in to bulimia
I guess I just got the point where I was so hungry
That I went on an almighty binge
The harder I found it to resist food
I could go for days without eating so much as a morsel of food
But my body just won't let me do that any more
My bingeing and purging was out of control
I was purging up to 20 times a day
Every day was the same back then
And spend the day going round in circles from the kitchen to the living room to the bathroom
It's the closest thing to hell that I've ever experienced
Bulimia doesn't get as much attention as anorexia
People with anorexia are treated with pity
Where as people with bulimia are thought of as out of control and disgusting
Both are deadly illnesses
But bulimia just doesn't get the same attention
Bulimia thrives on secrets and lies
Often the sufferer manages to maintain a healthy body weight
So no one would ever know unless you told them
I lose weight when I purge
So it was often quite plain to see that I am struggling
Even as recently as Christmas I was really struggling
But have managed to get somewhat back on track in the last month
I battle every day with my ED
But most days are good days
And every day that I manage to get through relatively sane is a success
I write my log in the hope that I can help others and myself fight the war against these illnesses
Writing and horse riding have helped fill a hole that my ED left
My life improves even despite of myself and my self destructive ways
I am hopeful for the future
I have a feeling that something wonderful is going to happen...
