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Apple Introduces Device To Help People Not Pay Attention At Meetings

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Apple officially unveiled its new watch today. We rate three features:

1. The ability to read texts, emails, Tweets, and pretty much everything else you check on your phone while sitting in meetings, school, weddings, and anywhere else that requires your attention and interaction with others.

Pro: You’ll look slightly more polite during wedding ceremonies than when you usually try to sneak a peak at your phone in church.

Con: The people you don’t want to talk to will start chatting your ear off with questions about the watch at the reception.

2. If you’ve been sitting too long, which may be unhealthy, the watch will vibrate to get you to stand up.

Pro: You can turn this function off.

Con: Will train people to spontaneously stand up at wrong times, like when the minister asks if anybody objects to a marriage.

3. You can send hand drawn-doodles on the screen to your friends who also have Apple watches.

Pro: No more professors confiscating offensive doodles in class.

Con: How many doodles of a penis do you need to see? Because we bet that’s what many of your frat boy friends will be doodling.

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