I don’t know what triggered it but on my way home from work, I was sent back to that weekend when my hubs and I had an argument which ended up with him leaving and us getting a divorce.
Again, I don’t know what triggered it….
But the feelings of devastation as well as anger flooded me as I was driving. I had to slow to so I could focus on my driving and not do anything rash while I was overwhelmed with this feelings.
I kept seeing his coldness and the emptiness in his eyes as he continued to tell me it was over and it had been over for quite some time.
To fill your eyes with tears of sorrow and devastation but yet gritting your teeth because you want to bitch slap the coldness right out of him, flooded my body with emotions.
Again, I don’t know what triggered it but Apparently, I’m still haunted.
Haunted by the nightmare that changed my life forever, just a mere four (4) months ago.
No matter how far I’ve come along in my Forgiveness, the pain is still there. The memory of the devastation. I can never Forget, yet I must learn a way to channel these emotions while triggered.
I know to some extent it is good to remember as I should use it as a learning tool, however, the pain involved, I would love to forget.
I would love to forget about all the emails and text messages I’ve read.
I would love to forget all the pictures of her, she sent to him.
I would love to forget all the pictures he sent to her.
I would love to forget talking to her husband and trying to figure this mess out.
I would love to forget the entire thing…………….yet I can’t and I never will………….
Apparently, I’m still haunted
