Another Big Change. I Wouldn't Be Me Without Them!

For those of you that have been following me on my blog for a while, and have witnessed my exhausting to-ing and fro-ing of horses/college, well done for making it this far. I'm sure the never-ending questioning of whether I should continue college, the regret of leaving college last year and then going back to college this year has been baffling if not frustrating for my readers. Some may say I'm unstable, and they might be right, but it wouldn't be my life if I didn't mix things up a bit ;) So in saying that, I must reveal that I am now leaving college again, for the final time.
I know, I only lasted two weeks! But those two weeks were enough to tell me that I didn't belong there. I went to college thinking it was something that I "should" do, and get it finished so I can say that I completed my A-levels. But after two weeks of waking up at 5.15am and getting home at 9pm, and in a constant state of stress and tiredness, I asked myself "what would I ever use my A-levels for, and what on earth does it justify?" Nothing, was the answer.
I don't need any sort of university degree to be an international dressage rider and trainer, and at this stage in my life I am absolutely certain that this is the path I am taking. Now is the time to throw myself into being successful, to start teaching and getting more qualifications and learn as much as I can and meet as many people in the industry as I can. Clients who want to give a horse to me to train, or want me to train them, are not going to care if I have an Equine Business Degree or Sports Psychology Degree. If I am good at what I do, they will give me their business, simple as that.
Another reason why I felt I didn't belong at college was the huge chasm between me and the other students. They all went to college to pass with As and Bs to get into uni, and I didn't expect higher than a D and had no interest in uni. At lunchtime they sat on the field in groups or walked into town, and I either sat in the library trying to catch up on work or drove to the yard to teach or ride. Before and after college I'd also be at the yard, riding and teaching, and everyone else went home or played a sport a couple of times a week.
I stayed quiet about my life with horses, and people only thought I just rode on a wednesday when I wasn't bothered to change out of my breeches and turned up to class in them. Then came the typical jokes about "riding" with a sexual connotation, and being told that I "get around" because I had four horses that I "rode". One day I was questioned why I was wearing breeches with a union jack on the pocket when "I wasn't even British". I used that opportunity to smugly say "actually, I compete for Great Britain, and I am British". And well, I got laughed at in the face.
Being tired, moody and too stressed to ride efficiently was not worth a year of college to only get Ds from lack of time to study and for my passion and career to be made fun of, so the next day (Thursday last week) I unenrolled. On the 'Leaving and Destination' form, my tutor wrote as my destination "starting own business". Now that was a moment of reality hitting hard. Because that's what I'm doing now, I'm in the beginnings of my own business. As soon as I got in my car I called up the insurance company who had quoted my Freelance Instructor's Insurance and paid for it, and immediately drove to Talland to book all of my PTT training sessions.
Now, I am teaching some absolutely lovely people at the yard, training for my PTT, riding my horses and putting myself out there for more freelance teaching and grooming. There's no going back to college now, I'm much too old (I'll be 19 next month!!) and have missed my chance. And I'm completely fine with that. I'm on my chosen path, and I am going to make my dreams come true.