Political season is in full swing with the RNC convention wrapping up last week and the DNC convention kicking off this week. And no matter your political preference, it was clear that the themes of love and loving relationships were in the air! Whether you were listening to Utah congressional candidate Mia Love’s tale of her immigrant parents, Clint Eastwood’s unusual remarks reflecting his obvious love of country, or the proud declaration of Ann Romney, “Mitt and I have a real marriage,” it was all about love!
Did you hear Ann Romney? In one of the most poignant moments of her speech, she proudly declared, “I’m still in love with that boy I met at a high school dance, and he still makes me laugh.” And it was said with such conviction!
There were a lot of speeches over the past few days, weren’t there? And as a couples’ counselor, I definitely watch and listen from a particular perspective!
During the various addresses offered over the past few days, several statements stood out for me. Many were about marriage and relationships. But all were consistent with one theme: that of a loving relationship. Love for a spouse, love for a child, love for a parent and the bigger love, love for country. Many of the speeches were poignant indeed. Stories were told of family relationships remembered with fondness, love, and compassion, bringing tears to the eyes of presenter and audience alike.
Resonating the most for me was the one above by Ann Romney. And my marriage and relationship tips reflect what I saw in her relationship with her husband. As a couples’ counselor, I see many couples struggling with “being in love” with each other. Struggling might seem like the wrong word, but in actuality it is right on target. The love that they had for each other has somehow disappeared, or has been replaced with other emotions more negative in feeling. Nor is it even a priority to find again. So many obstacles have replaced it or pushed it to a back burner and sometimes it is buried so deeply that digging it out seems too painful and difficult.
It reminds me a bit of the song, “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling,” by the Righteous Brothers.
Do you still close your eyes when being kissed by your spouse?
Is there tenderness in your fingertips?
Is there welcome in your eyes when he or she reaches for you?
Are you complimenting your spouse regularly instead of criticizing every little thing he or she does?
If you have answered no to the above, you just might have lost that loving feeling.
Ready to bring it back?
Take a trip down memory lane when the answers to the above questions – and more – were “yes.”
What was it about “that boy [or girl] at the high school dance” that made you fall in love?
How did he make you laugh?
What did he look like that caused you to swoon at the very sight of him?
Go on a scavenger hunt and find the clues you found years ago to bring back that loving feeling once again. And when you have found it, cherish it and keep it current.
Act loving. Be Loving. Talk Loving. Feel Loving. Bring it back and nourish it with all you can so it can grow and last a lifetime.
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