Travel Magazine

Amsterdamage

By Beanandgone @scoffey01

Amsterdamage

Arrive: 21 April 2011

It doesn’t take me long to decide that there is no way in hell that I am spending Easter in London. For some reason festive holidays by yourself is just not appealing. So it seemed like a pretty obvious delineation that the most appropriate place to enjoy some chocolate would be Amsterdam.

I arrive at the Hans Brinker Hostel on Thursday afternoon. I’m not going to attempt to wordsmith my way around describing what this place was like, best you just check out the photos. From a marketing perspective though, pure genius. I never thought you could promote dirty and unhygienic rooms as immune system enhancers.

I met my tour group shortly after arriving and bunked up with some fellow Aussies from down south. Overall the group is great, a tasting plate of from right across the globe. With just enough time to grab a bed and change into some fresh clothes, we head out on our first pub crawl for the weekend.

It’s probably in everyone’s best interests that I don’t delve too far into the nights events (may have something to do with me not remembering them), but lets just say we did Australia proud on the drinking front.

After waking up, figuring out where the hell I was, taking two aspirin and drinking some water, I boarded the bus and headed out to the tulip fields. To begin with, I wasn’t too keen on spending four hours, hung over at a flower farm but it didn’t take long for me to realize that this was not just any old flower farm.

How can I explain the tulip fields? Imagine Claude Monet and Andy Warhol got together one night, dropped some LSD and decided to join artistic forces to create the most abstract landscape paining the world has ever seen. Then times it by a million. The hours flew by in whirl of windmills, clogs, cheese and strawberries, all topped off with a hint of hay-fever and before I knew it we were being herded back onto the bus for our last night on the town.

I’m not going to lie, the schedule for the night looked pretty daunting. It included dinner and a live sex show. Firstly, no one likes to eat a big meal before sex. And secondly, I’m not too sure if a live sex show is the appropriate way to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. But peer pressure reared its ugly head and before I knew it, we were all tottering off into the bowels of the red light district.

2 hours later…

It actually wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be, more party tricks than live sex. Overall I was pretty impressed with some of the unique skills the ladies possessed. Not too sure how they came to realize they had these skills, but I guess that if you are ever in a situation where you need to peel a banana with no hands, they would be of use.

Lessons learned in Amsterdam

  • The girls in the windows look much friendlier than they really are
  • Coffee shops don’t actually sell coffee
  • The place is rife with German bachelor parties. The language barrier is just not thick enough.
  • Never drink from the labeless bottle with a pouring nozzle on it. Just because it looks like it has alcohol in it, doesn’t necessarily mean it does.
  • Bicycles are more dangerous than cars.
Click to view slideshow.
Amsterdamage
Amsterdamage
Amsterdamage

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Lace Up Pom Tree

    Lace Tree

    Without putting any much effort a summer dress can give us so much of goals from comfortability to enhancing our style to a new factor. If you're bored of the... Read more

    The 26 May 2017 by   Chayanikarabha
    FASHION, LIFESTYLE, SHOPPING
  • How to Know This is the Right Book to Read

    Know This Right Book Read

    In the past, people had to make an effort in order to get ahold of books they were interested in reading. Nowadays, though, they have an entirely different... Read more

    The 26 May 2017 by   Mariagrazia
    ART & DESIGN, BOOKS, CULTURE, MOVIES
  • Cheap Trick is Serving Pizza and Beer in Wicker Park

    Cheap Trick Serving Pizza Beer Wicker Park

    Greg Kot (left); Rick Nielsen (right) What’s more Chicago than pizza, beer and rock royalty all under one roof? You probably recognize Rick Nielsen as the... Read more

    The 26 May 2017 by   Urbanmatter Chicago
    TRAVEL
  • La Pinoz Pizza Offers Excellent Pizzas, Pastas, Tacos and More

    Pinoz Pizza Offers Excellent Pizzas, Pastas, Tacos More

    La Pinoz Pizza offers excellent pizzas, pasta, tacos, and more. But I feel there is a scope of some innovation and variation to, may be, attract a larger segmen... Read more

    The 26 May 2017 by   Jaideep Khanduja
    DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Planting Trees Will Not Slow Global Warming

    Planting Trees Will Slow Global Warming

    GR: There’s lots of loose talk going around about “geoengineering” our way out of the climate-change disaster. I say it’s loose talk because there’s been no... Read more

    The 26 May 2017 by   Garry Rogers
    ANIMALS & WILDLIFE, BOOKS, ENVIRONMENT
  • The 3rd Annual Country LakeShake is Coming to Northerly Island

    Annual Country LakeShake Coming Northerly Island

    Grab Your Boots, Y’all! Tired of trekking to Wisconsin to enjoy a summer country music festival? Well, no shoes, no shirt, no problem, Chicago country music... Read more

    The 26 May 2017 by   Urbanmatter Chicago
    TRAVEL
  • Summer Decor Styling

    Summer Decor Styling

    This summer season I have chosen to keep my seasonal styling simplewith a wind of a coastal breezes.Air plants are even abundant in my decor right nowbecause I... Read more

    The 26 May 2017 by   Tamera Beardsley
    FASHION, LIFESTYLE

Magazine