Am I in recovery if I'm still afraid to gain any more weight?
If I don't eat 3 meals a day?
If I think I need to lose weight?
Am I in recovery if I use my meds as a means of escape?
If I envy other girls because of their slim figure?
Am I in recovery if I still obsess about body image?
If I use a sun bed in order to accept my body more?
Am I in recovery if I panic if I can't get a walk every day?
If certain foods are 'safe' and 'unsafe'?
Am I in recovery if I don't go to my support groups?
If I don't feel like I am able to do this for much longer?
Am I in recovery if I feel like a fraud?
If I am trying my best to be in good form so others don't worry?
Am I in recovery if I still think about when I was at my thinnest?
And wonder what it would be like to be there again ?
Am I in recovery if I feel fat every day?
If I can barely look at myself in the mirror?
Am I in recovery if the slightest thing triggers me?
And sometimes I want to be triggered?
Am I in recovery if I still write this blog?
And read others who are not in recovery?
Am I in recovery if sometimes I feel like I am playing a role?
If I look ok so I feel that I should be ok on the inside?
Am I in recovery if I struggle to take care of the most basic things?
And I still feel like a child a lot of the time?
Am I in recovery if gaining weight is still the worst thing in the world?
If I would rather eat my own foot than be fat?
Am I in recovery?
I'm not quite sure........
