One of the common complaints I hear when counseling couples is the inability to navigate successfully between career demands and relationships. And that’s an important area of advice for a good marriage. Let’s face it – today many young couples find that both partners must work outside the home to satisfy family financial obligations. Juggling career and relationships can place a great deal of stress on the family unit.
Questions like “How do I find ‘me’ time, or how do we get ‘our’ time?” are often voiced when clients ask me for my advice for a good marriage. Certainly these are legitimate concerns and need to be resolved to keep relationships running smoothly. Healthy relationships between couples thrive on time spent together.
I often tell my couples, “One day your children will get married or leave the nest and start on their own journey. And one day you might be lucky enough to retire from your jobs, leaving hours of time to fill.”
If a couple hasn’t actively sought out advice for a good marriage and planned for these two critical situations, things could turn disastrous and they could find themselves living together as strangers.
Recently I counseled a couple and the chief complaint was the wife didn’t feel she was a priority in her husband’s life. He was consumed by his career and she felt he didn’t have much time for her or their relationship.
As a point of interest, this couple even had difficulty finding time to come to counseling to resolve their marital conflicts, although they both admitted their marriage desperately needed help.
What was my advice for a good marriage regarding balancing work and their relationship effectively?
- Making a relationship work, and work well, should claim priority status. Simply recognizing this unconditional “rule” will give it the attention it deserves.
- Negotiate a life together while planning and scheduling specific times to connect. This might cause one partner to give more than the other, and something may have to go to make togetherness a priority. Do you really need that third job? How important is it to have a sports car if there is no time to go for a ride?
- Finally, evaluate your finances – really look at your income and outgo. What can be carved out to lessen financial stress? Do the kids really need the latest iPad? Just how many extracurricular activities can your kids handle? And how many expensive Starbucks coffees are on your weekly menu? Saving money can be easy if you do an accounting of where it really goes. Knowledge is a good thing.
Balancing work and your personal life is necessary for making your relationship a lasting one. Taking breaks and vacation time from work does wonders to develop a healthy state of mind. Remember the old saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
But more importantly, this advice for a good marriage, advice of taking and making time for the love of your life, will bring countless rewards that will last a lifetime.
Have you tried any of these tips ? Please feel free to add a comment about tips you have tried that have improved your marriage.
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