I work with a client, whom we shall call “C” for confidentiality purposes.
C is a reasonably attractive male, most likely in his early thirties, is married, and has two young children.
The two things that C has, which we neglected to mention are ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).
These conditions, these two little three letter words, are literally tearing C’s marriage and life apart! And this in no joke. Should C not figure out, and figure out EXTREMELY soon how to combat his illnesses, he will lose his wife, his children, at at least, figuratively, his life.
C believes that he is “The Cream of the Crop” or as they used to say, the “Bee’s Knees”.
Now C has many characteristics which if he were to use, could, and most likely would take him to the top.
Here are the problems; 1. C must always be right. 2. C has a major inferiority complex when it comes to his wife, 3. He is in a dead end job, doesn’t believe so, therefore makes no money to support his family, 4. Must be heard, probably as a result of the family he was raised by, and therefore, most likely, talks his customers right OUT of the deals they were so interested in the first place, and 5. Has a terrible, and I mean terrible temper, most likely inflicting gross emotional pain on his wife and perhaps children.
I do not at this time see any indication of physical abuse whatsoever.
So, what to do? Well, obviously, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), which we are in the midst of, but which needs to move at the clients pace to be truly effective.
The problem here, is that we are not working only at the patient’s pace, we are working heavily at the wife’s pace as well, since he has included her now in his treatment.
At first I had some misgivings, but, after having met with them both within the last few days, it is obvious that, only now can I understand the full picture.
It is indeed quite far from being a pretty one.
Listen, marriage, we have discussed before. It is arguably one of the most difficult tasks in the world, taking two completely different people, with two completely different pasts, and completely differing sets of baggage, putting them together, and seeing it work out well.
This probably has something to do with why more than 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. But it is not the only reason. In the 1950′s in America, one had to be the dutiful wife, perfectly coiffed, and the outside world was NEVER, EVER to know of the inadequacies that went on with-in the home, between husband and wife, or any family problems for that matter.
Well, guess what?
THE WORLD HAS DEFINITELY CHANGED.
Woman are their own people as they should be, they are entitled to, and to demand, equal respect in ALL things.
In fact, it is my belief that in MANY ways women are not only superior to men, but FAR superior! It it in fact my opinion, that if the United States of America were to be run by the correct woman, it might actually stand a chance of making it to the year 2100.
As the way things stand now, 2025 is looking questionable at best!
But I digress.
C’s wife deserves security, she deserves to feel loved and counted, and treated as the wonderful (capable of anything) young native of Venus she may be
So my suggestion to C is, that he better straighten up and act right, and pretty quickly as well, otherwise, he is bound to wind up just as alone, brokenhearted, and miserable, as she is now.