Diaries Magazine

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

By Parentalparody @parental_parody

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

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Okay you guys. I have a bazillion excuses for you re: my absence. Not in any order.... I found a whole lot more Real Housewives of the World style reality TV shows (that would totally be #1 if this was in order). I started studying - because who else would you want teaching young impressionable minds? (Don't worry, I've spent a few years working at The Feral Threesome's school to ensure I could control the swears when I'm on premises - who knew I could?! Anyway, university gahhhhh so much work). I'm lazy. I'm still lazy. I'm lazy about doing something about being lazy. I also happen to have suffered from writers block. Seriously - as kids grow up they do way less stuff that I can exploit for my own humor.  It's a little disappointing, and I have tried to set them up on occasion, just for a laugh. I bought a treadmill. I BOUGHT A TREADMILL. And I used it for a good 3 weeks prior to a holiday. It was extremely exhausting. The kids are now all doing homework-y stuff on the laptop.  I have to fight for screen time.  Imagine the horror! And carnage.... I discovered home delivery dinner - Uber eats, Menulog, and all the othes I am yet to conquer! And believe it or not, on that note, our dinner has arrived! So I will now go and make a fuss about decanting the takeaway onto real plates so that I can appease the takeaway guilt.

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