When the egg donor and I split up almost 8 years ago, we originally had a verbal, 50/50 visitation agreement for the entire first year - though as the year went on, her 50% looked more like 25%. Monetarily, I paid my son's insurance and ALL his medical bills left over that insurance did not pay. This was quite a considerable sum considering he had respiratory problems at a young age (but that is a subject for a different rant). All I asked her to pay for was daycare. Believe me, she was getting the better end of that deal by far.
However, a couple of her girlfriends, who were receiving child support from multiple fathers, started buzzing in her ear about how she could take me to the cleaner's, and BAM, the next thing you know, we ended up going to court for full custody. (I should interject here that if you are going take a person who teaches argument for a living to court , you really should come better prepared.) So after hearing all the evidence, the judge awarded me full custody, which I had not even originally asked for. (Dumb ass, egg donor.)
Post Court Cancellations
Now let's summarize the actions of a person who purported that the court case was really about wanting full custody and not about money:
- NEVER used all of her two week summer visitation awarded by the judge. Every year, it has only been one week, and it's like pulling teeth to get that scheduled.
- Used only ONE of her Spring Break weeks in 8 years. (We are supposed to alternate years.)
- Routinely cancels one of her weekends, if not monthly then every other month.
- Cancelled the weekend on which New Year's Eve fell - TWICE.
- Cancelled Memorial Day weekend - AFTER having the custody agreement amended to include alternating Memorial Day visitation at her request.
- Cancelled Thanksgiving once.
- Cancelled her week at Christmas once.
- Frequently drops Connor off with her mother for at least one night of her weekend. (Seriously? You only have him four nights a month to begin with IF you don't cancel.)
- And the pièce de résistance: Cancelled Mother's Day weekends in back to back years.
Have a great day!