a New Psychiatrist

Apologies that I haven’t written for a while. September was busy. The biggest hurdle was done today with the new psychiatrist.

First the build up. Seeing a new therapist in your mental health care is quite huge, not just for the sufferer either, but also for the parent. Will was a bit anxious but at least he was willing to try this new man. By the time I had filled out the 12 page new patient form, written a full disclosure of Will’s childhood, found every bit of paper I could about his past health care from preschool onwards, I was slightly tense to say the least. Another person to share ‘our past’ with, another person to let in on the dark side of domestic violence consequences. It’s not an easy road. Too much pain and guilt.

Then the 1.5 hr drive to new the place, getting lost cause it’s sign and street number is so bloody tiny that you can’t see it driving past on a main artery road. However, lovely receptionist and lovely Dr.

Then the cost of the session – really?! I didn’t know psychiatrists could charge that much. Praise God, my medicare level for this year has been reached.

We can call him Dr C. Older man, psychiatrist with years of teenage boy care and treatment. Gentle, thorough, deep but open. Despite both Will and I having to dredge up all the past and how we got to this point, Dr C was lovely. Being male helps Will a lot too. Being in a regional area like ours, you take you what can get with local help, and sometimes that can only take you so far. Dr W, at least, had the openness to admit she had reached a stand still as to where to head next and recommended a one off visit to Dr C.

Will has decided Dr C is the man for him. Is good. He likes him. Is also good. I truly hope this will prove to be a good path and choice. At least 4-6 sessions before we can really say we are making progress forward.

What we now face is a monthly 2/3rds of a day trip, plus Will’s sessions down here with his psychologist. I need to organize a day off work each month to achieve this, as well as the extra time, money and medication tweaking. Sounds whiney? Maybe, but parents get tired and exhausted too. After years of therapy and the overall cost, emotion and time spent, this just takes us a further step again. And I want to survive this as much as Will.

One mom I have come to know and care for, has sent her daughter by herself to Sydney for her next stage of treatment. The mom looks wiped, exhausted, emotionless and worn out. But won’t do therapy for herself. Can understand that, after a while no one wants to see another therapist ever for any reason.

Another friend, whose daughter is very similar stage to Sophie, has completed crashed. Breakdown, drowning and seeking therapy to survive and become human again.

It’s a long, tough haul for the parents of children with mental health illness, regardless of what type. It’s working out how much you can take before you collapse, how much you can afford to spend, how much juggling you can do. On the long term basis, the biggest tip I have for anyone is try, try, try to care for yourself and make sure you make it too. For me, I wonder how long work will continue to reasonably accommodated my need to be with my child.

At the moment just feeling like a steam roller has hit, and am now trying to stand up again and doing 10 jobs at once to start the next stage. I am also letting go of a support team that cared as much for me as my two children. I feel like I am losing family.

But we will survive this. I heard the most amazing bible talk yesterday at church and wished so much Will could have heard it. The guy was so real, had been through so much brokenness but was the most alive, loving person I have seen for some time. God can do amazing changes in a person’s life.