This post is an anonymous guest post*
Recently I had to have a coloscopy. I asked on the mum’s group if any one had one with out reply. So I thought I’d share my experience so if any one else had one they will know what to expect.
I’ll not lie to you the night before I had a hours sleep cos I was scared. Sat in the waiting room holding my son’s makka pakka teddy I was terrified.
First I was called into the doctors office. He explained things in english to me. Basically there are 3 stages of cell abnormality. 1 to 3. The closer to 3 the more abnormal. But you could have a stage 3 and it not turn into cancer just cos you have abnormal cells dose not mean you will get cancer. Also you can be a stage 3 at one smear and the next the may be no abnormalitys.
Next we went into the examination room. I had to strip my bottom half off (so if you do have to go wear a long skirt so you can leave it on). There was a nice hospital bed with stirrups. Oh yes haven’t have to have em since I gave birth but there they were.
So your laid on a hospital be legs in the air and spread a kinmbo. And the doctor pulls over a massive micro scope. This micro scope, he explains, is very special (what am I, 4?) Because it’s connected to a tv screen. So me being me I looked over. Seeing your lady bits magnified 10 times is not a pretty sight. All I can say is I’m glad I’d shaved.
Next up is the duck. That thing they put inside you to spread you nice and wide. Why are they all ways cold? You’d think with the fact we can travel to space they’d of learned how to make metal warm.
Ok so next up the doctor got a swab with a mild acid on and kindly explains to me due to this I may have a smell of vinegar coming from down there. Great. Now they rub the swab on your cervix. Due to the vinegar any abnormal cells turn white so they can be seen easily.
The tool they use to do the actual coloscopy is called a loop. To me it looked like a straw with a loop of wire (hence the name) coming out. Now there’s a electric currant goings through the wire. After a local anesthetic (which hurts. Why dose some thing that is ment to stop you feeling any thing hurt?) we began. Now they use the loop to slice the abnormal cells away. Now I have a high tolerance to anesthetic so I felt this so had to another local. The bit they remove is about the size of your thumb nail. And it goes in a pot then off to the lab with it. Now because I had quite a lot of abnormal cells the doctor had to cut 3 more bits off which he said is very unusual.
The final bit they do is corturize (burn) and bleeding to stop it. Now as I said before I have a high tollerance to anesthetic so omg this hurt. On this part if you ever have to have one I really really recomend looking down I did ans saw smoke. After 2 more local anesthetic and a bit more burning I was done.
After your ment to rest. Refrain from heavy lifting for 48 hours and no sex or swimming for 4 to 6 weeks. I didn’t take it easy. I went right from the hospital shopping. Then carried on as normal. And I paid and am still paying for it 3 days later.
Now I know not every one has the same experience I did. My sister felt no pain at all. But I hope if you ever have one you know what it is now and trust me it’s not as scary as you think
