Dating Magazine

A Fine Line

By Nicelise

A fine lineI'll admit it, I'm a creep magnet.
What is a creep magnet, you ask? Well, I am of course, but the real definition (by my standards) is someone who cannot seem to get away from creeps and/or creepers. A creep magnet tends to think that the only people she or he attracts are creeps and/or creepers. There may be some sort of target on a creep magnet that only creepers can see.
I have been calling myself a creep magnet for years. Maybe it is because I'm too nice to blow them off or maybe it's because I just have a certain look that when a creeper spots me, he cannot help but bother me. Whatever it is, I would like to know so I can change it about myself.
I have way too many creeper experiences to be proud of, including having a married man hand me his number while his wife and kids sat and ate dinner at my restaurant only a couple of feet away, or when a guy told me that if he didn't have a girlfriend I would be in bed with him, or the many disturbing messages I received while testing out dating sites.
With that, I can say that there truly is a fine line for guys between being friendly and being creepy. Let's say a guy approaches a girl at a bar with the intention of introducing himself and sparking a conversation, if he walks up and says "Hi, I'm so and so" followed by an innocent, situational question, he is being friendly. If in the exact same situation the guy says "Hey, I'm so and so, you look too good to be here without your boyfriend," this is creepy. The guy in both situations had the same intention, but his attempt at either a joke or a compliment can be perceived as creepy.
Sometimes, I think guys come off as creepy because they try too hard. And then, sometimes guys are just creepy, i.e. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino of "Jersey Shore" fame. Major creepers, like "The Situation," give weird and intense stares when looking at you and feel compelled to touch you and compliment you're appearance in a way that make you think they're picturing you naked. They also sound like they're being insincere and fake when they talk to you and are more interested in persuading you to come home or to the next bar with them than actually talking to you.
Creepers don't know they are creepers, they think they are being slick trying to be a lady killer or player of some sort.
If you really do just want to seem friendly, I think the best way to approach and converse with a girl you're interested in is to talk to her like you would a friend. Be yourself and don't try too hard, because that's when things start to get cheesy and creepy.
xoxo Nickie

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