There’s a first for everything in relationships, and they often come with a great deal of excitement; whether it’s a first date , first kiss, first parental meeting or even (pause for a deep breath here), moving in together.
Deciding to up sticks and either move in with each other shouldn’t be a move taken lightly, there’s often a lot riding on this, and much like a first holiday, moving in together for the first time really can make or break a relationship.
Testing the boundaries of how you both live separately can be an excellent, fulfilling and happy occasion, but make sure you know you are ready before you make the big step.
Are you ready to lose space?
Whether you’re moving into your partners pad, or vice versa, or even getting a place together the chances are you are going to lose some space to their makeup, sock, DVD collection or something similar, and for some this is harder than it sounds. Talking about what is important for each of you to keep should be one of your first steps, so no one is stepping on any toes when they start to move things in.
Are you ready to adapt at dinner time?
One of the most common things couples notice after moving in together is a change in their eating habits. You may be a creature of ritual, sticking to the same meal patterns, or you may be a snack lover; nibbling whenever you feel you want to. If you’re moving in together then the chances are you already know what your partner will and will not eat, but did you realize their rituals may soon become yours too?
Splitting the bill
It’s easy to control outgoings when you live alone, a little water saving here, putting on an extra jumper instead of turning the heating on, these are all ways you on your own can cut back on spending, but with an extra person in the house you’ll have the think of their needs too, and splitting the bill becomes a part of that.
Not going out
Remember too that when you live together, whether in marriage or cohabitation the chances are you’ll spend less time going out for dinner and treating each other. That’s not to say that romance is dead, but it may be a gentle reminder not to let date nights go by the way side, keeping the romance going is integral.
Are you ready to compromise?
This should go without saying but in every aspect of your new life together you will have to sacrifice some things to cohabit together. Nights out with friends, that lunch break spree in Topshop or even your nights out as a couple may need to be shelved or at least minimalized initially.
How do you deal with arguments?
The likelihood of arguing after moving in together is quite high, even if it’s only over small things it’s better to know you can get through these arguments and move on. So have you argued and got through it?
How much time do you spend together now?
If the answer is five or six nights a week then you’ll already know all your partners annoying habits and also their best bits, that’s not to say that couples who ejoy more space are doomed, but it would probably help to have a few weeks of living out of each other’s pockets, because you need to know you can manage it.
A study by Rutgers in 2007 (http://www.maritalhealing.com/conflicts/risksofcohabitation.php) found that most Americans now choose to live together before marriage, essentially test running the relationship, so it’s important to make sure you ask the questions on whether you are suited to living together before you make the move.
