NO that’s not a typo – rather it’s me jumping on the erotic bandwagon that is the biggest selling book on Amazon ever – 50 Shades of Grey…
And inspired by the delightful parody site a friend of mine found on Facebook – 50 Sheds of Grey!!! Though I’m pretty sure any half decent practitioner of bondage could find all manner of goodies in the average suburban man’s shed. One look at my trusty old dibber and plastic plant ties should have any self respecting “submissive” creaming their rubber (studded) knickers…probably…
In a nutshell 50 Shades of Grey is a smutty book trilogy (for ladies of a certain age) looking at the dark world of bondage, masters, servants and the like…
It’s certainly done me proud – nope I haven’t read it – but the GF has, and might I add during the whole of the recent Euro 2012 Championships. Which left me with not only the TV remote and dog for company, but pure uninterrupted viewing. With only the odd dirty cackle coming from upstairs to break the tension of extra time and penalties (being an England supporter we need a lot of distractions during tournaments)…
And it’s certainly got my all ready sex mad GF right in the mood for “kinky stuff” in the bedroom – though even I with my liberal thinkings refused to accept the butt plug, feather duster and Marmite into the bedroom. I of course jest but God only knows what horrors await the poor unsuspecting middle aged missionary position man on returning from a hard day at the office to be faced by a flushed Ethel and her bag of “tools”. That’ll certainly put the spice back into their 25-year-marriage lol…
In all seriousness it’s actually the sort of sensational book – now being made into a movie – that authors like me dream of writing. Not only has it got most of the women of world all of a fluster, with one eye on the gimp suit on offer in Evans *shudders* – but also one finger on the mouse button as the cursor hovers over Bondage Sex Shops lol…
Yeah I have to say I am more than a little jealous, but hey you can’t write a best seller every day – or if you’re me any day of the week…
I remember sitting down to write a book over a decade ago – it was a fast paced thriller with the lead character playing a good looking reporter cracking a miscarriage of justice. Not sure where I got the idea from lol…
I decided after a few chapters it needed a bit of romance and maybe a smattering of sex. However my ex-wife announced she would not be at all happy if any of the sex scenes included “things” we hadn’t done…
I remember thinking at the time the “regular” Friday night fumble with her smelling of cider was not exactly gripping page turning stuff for your average reader – so I can honestly hand on heart say I’ve never written a sex scene in my life…
Which reminds me, the Guardian’s Bad Sex in Books Award is always a great laugh – take this classic:
In the shower, Ed stood with his hands at the back of his head, like someone just arrested, while she abused him with a bar of soap.” (Ed King/Guterson)
Oh Lord – thank goodness we have bottles of shower gel…ummm wait a minute…
