Sexism in schools has got to end.
Although we have made a lot of progress towards achieving gender equality, there is still much work to be done. One still-pervasive form of sexism women face is being subjected to sexist comments while doing everyday activities. 87 percent of female respondents to one survey, for example, reported having received a sexist comment, and 45 percent said they have received these comments in public at least 25 times over the course of their lifetimes. And, unfortunately, few environments are free from these remarks — women hear them everywhere, including educational environments and/or workplaces.
Ultimately, we need to create a society in which individuals know better than to make sexist comments in the first place. But, as we work towards that goal, here are some proactive ways women can combat these offensive comments in a way that enforces gender equality — not just for themselves but ultimately for humanity overall.
- Carefully consider your response.
Sometimes, people make sexist comments because they’re ignorant. Other times, they want a reaction or to get approval from those around them. It’s up to you to decide when it’s best to take the high road and when it’s necessary to make it clear thatsuch comments are not acceptable or tolerated.
In some situations, choosing not to respond may seem like the best way to react. While sometimes this is in the interest of personal safety, silence can also encourage such behavior to continue. When you hear a sexist comment, therefore, and determine that your safety is not in fact at risk, you might decide to respond directly or indirectly.
An indirect response could be one-word answer like “wow” or “ouch.” Such responses make it clear that you heard the comment and disapprove, but doesn’t necessarily put you under pressure to take the interaction further.
A direct comment blatantly challenges the person who made the sexist comment. Saying “I don’t think that’s appropriate,” or asking “Did you really just say that?” are potentially confrontational, but make your feelings clear.
- Make them explain.
People often make sexist comments as “jokes.” The speaker may not intend harm, but the bottom line is they’re being offensive, not funny. If you’re at work, though, it can be complicated to explain this to a superior. One way to question these “jokes” while still respecting an individual as your employer is to ask them to explain what they meant by the comment. If you remain poised and serious, they may be forced to confront the plain truth that their comments was offensive, not humorous.
- Pick your battles.
Sometimes, sexist comments seemingly come out of nowhere and catch you off guard, leaving you grasping for an appropriate response. Other times they may not seem quite severe enough to warrant a defensive comment. In either case, a more playful reaction may actually be most appropriate. When someone’s comments are clearly ridiculous, sometimes it really is enough to make your disapproval known with a simple eye roll or questioning look, but ultimately being the bigger person and moving on.
- Stop sexist remarks before they happen.
In some cases, it’s pretty obvious when someone’s about to say something sexist. A person might even preface a statement by saying something like “I’m not against women, but …”, or “Some people might say I’m sexist for telling this joke, but …” If you hear such a disclaimer — whether in your university cafeteria, during a study hall at school, or wherever it may be — you can say intervene with a comment as simple as, “If that’s the case, I’d rather you not continue.”
As previously mentioned, some people make sexist comments because they want validation from peers. You can be the first person to indicate their comment will get anything but a thumbs-up. This may also encourage other people around you to follow suit and show their disapproval.
- Be clear about your expectations.
You may find people at work or school repeatedly say sexist things after you’ve asked them to stop or realize. Maybe they’re just being jerks, but it’s also possible that they don’t even realize the remarks they’re making are sexist. For example, perhaps a co-worker always uses language that’s gendered and certainly condescending — like “Thanks, sweetheart” — but considers it a compliment, endearing or harmless.
Just because they don’t think it’s sexist doesn’t mean it’s okay, though. Privately tell your co-worker how you expect and deserve to be treated. Be very specific about what you do and do not want, even if this means bluntly saying something like, “Please only use my name when referring to me.”
- Consider making a formal complaint.
If you are still subjected to sexist comments even after putting the above tips into action, think about following a formal complaint procedure to raise the issue with your human resources manager, academic department head or school counselor. You may be initially hesitant to take that route, but it’s important to do everything in your power to stop sexism wherever you are and sometimes that means making the offenses known to the appropriate parties through proper channels. These professionals have the resources needed to stop sexual harassment and prevent “hostile work environment” sexual harassment, which is unwelcome gender-based or sexual conduct so severe that it creates a hostile environment. They can respond most effectively if harassment is caught in the initial stages, before it becomes a hostile environment that causes irreparable damage.
And, ultimately, shutting down these comments isn’t just about standing up for yourself, but for all women.Everyone who takes a stance against sexism not only promotes gender equality but also helps women of this and future generations lead more empowered lives, ideally free from sexism.
