Marriage is supposed to be a partnership—something that the husband and the wife are invested in, and committed to, together. There is nothing that harms a marriage more significantly than when one spouse grows slack in his or her marital duties. Likewise, there is no way that just one partner can save a failing marriage—both spouses need to be 100% involved in it, or else it’s all in vain!
But if the ideal marriage looks like an equal partnership, many real-life marriages, sadly, do not. Following years of pastoral experience, I’ve met with, and given counsel to, many couples who have been struggling with different hardships or issues, and one of the most common problems that I see, quite frankly, is that husbands are often content to be complacent. Rather than working passionately and good-naturedly to help map out a positive trajectory for the marriage, they prefer to sit on the sidelines!
It’s important for all husbands to remember that they play an incredible role in setting the tone for the marriage, and in pointing the relationship in the right direction. So when it comes to keeping passion alive, between man and wife, the husband’s role cannot be diminished.
That’s why it is so important for husbands to be active in promoting romance—something that will lead to greater intimacy and greater joy together, as a married couple! For many men, romance doesn’t always come easy—but there are a few things any man can do to keep that spark of passion alive with his bride.
- For starters, think about the perfect stage for a romantic marriage—or even a single evening of intimacy and passion. The perfect stage, from the wife’s point of view, is likely to be a clean house, and, more to the point, a house that she didn’t have to clean herself! Here’s a very easy thing that a man can do to show his wife how much he loves her: Either clean the house for her, or even hire a maid to do it on your behalf!
- Husbands can also show their wives they care simply by remembering the things that are important to the wife—and taking some time to show how much they are devoted to her. A great way to accomplish both of these things is to find a recipe for your wife’s favorite meal, and make it for her. Getting takeout doesn’t have the same effect!
- One of the keys to romance is spontaneity. Even if you’re not a man to whom spontaneity comes easy, you can leave love notes for your wife—in her purse, or tucked inside a book she’s reading. These will be wonderful surprises for her as she finds them, and will sow the seeds of real romance!
Finally… as cliché as it may seem, buying your wife flowers or sweets can never be a bad idea. It’s especially meaningful when these things come on a day other than Valentine’s!
Romance is something we can strive for in our marriages each and every day—and there’s no reason in the world why the husband can’t be the one to initiate it!
This was a guest post contribution from Andy Body. Andy is a contributor from Ed Young’s fellowship church in Dallas.
