According to the Street.com’s analysis of smart phone information provided by Apple last week, Google Android users don’t seem to know how to use their phones, with about 70% of them apparently not knowing how to use WiFi. We at NotTheWorstNews believe that if a device has the word “smart” in its name, it should not make you feel stupid. If this has ever happened to you, perhaps you would feel smarter if you dropped the Stephen Hawking “A Brief History of Time” Audiobook ring tone, and switched to Tik Tok by Ke$ha. But rest assured, there are other products out there with “smart” in their names that could make you feel less smart than your smart phone may make you feel:
1. the smart car. Sure it sounded smart with its energy efficiency years ago. But now with everyone from Nissan to ’80s hair band Tesla going electric, driving a car the size of the train Ricky Schroeder drove around the house in Silver Spoons seems sub-optimal.
Especially if high school bullies pick up the car with you in it and put it somewhere inconvenient like at the top of the escalator at the mall or in a Gondola at the Venetian Hotel and Casino. And things just got worse for the smart car yesterday, finishing last in the 2012 JD Power and Associates U.S Initial Quality Study. Hey, we question the “initial” quality of any brand that refuses to use capital letters. But even if you own one of these vehicles meant to help the environment, you may still feel smarter knowing that you don’t use the next product…
2. Smart Brand Cigarettes.
Hmmm… are they hoping English people buy these who can’t read the warnings? Assuming they are warnings and not Swedish recipes, that is.
You had me at “Smart!”
However, even if you’re trying to quit smoking, and this happens to be your brand of cigarette, and you don’t speak the language the warnings are in… it still could be worse…
Smarties are the candy that are completely different around the world, apparently because nobody was smart enough to trademark the name in every country. Oops. But today we’re going to talk about American Smarties. Or as Fox News likes to call them, “a strange new trend” that kids are smoking. Yes, if there’s one thing potentially more dangerous than smoking cigarettes, it’s watching Fox And Friends and learning kids are dangerously smoking Smarties in one of the most ridiculous interviews we’ve ever seen. We hope you find the interview to be a candy-smoking deterrent and educational, because it’s reporting like this that makes us NotTheWorstNews: