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11 Hypothetical Breakups You Might Actually Care About

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

11 Hypothetical Breakups You Might Actually Care About Christopher De Voss:

Long Awkward Pause:

11 Hypothetical Breakups You Might Actually Care About Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

By now you’ve probably heard the news that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are “consciously uncoupling” (which is trendy, new-age speak for “splitting up”) after 10 years of marriage.

By now you’ve also probably forgotten all about it because not one part of you remotely cares. Gwyneth Paltrow is awful, and Coldplay is overrated. (…Except for the song “Yellow” whose lyrics about bleeding yourself dry for someone sometimes seem touching instead of super clingy. I guess “Fix You” isn’t so bad. “Clocks” and “Viva La Vida” can be nice sometimes, too. I guess Coldplay is okay, but one should never admit that outside of parentheses.)

GP and Chris Martin’s split and the many epic celebrity breakups that precede it got me thinking about how devastated we would be if some of our favorite classic pairs decided to “consciously uncouple.” Here’s hoping these twosomes below don’t mutually decide to split up anytime soon…